Stop comparing yourself to others

36 comments

I know you do it. But, I wish you would stop comparing yourself to others.
don't compare yourself to others

Here I am at the end of another weekend thinking about how I accomplished about a quarter of what I hoped to do. This frustration has the potential to take over my mind and fool me into thinking so many negative things about myself.

Everyone gets their stuff done but me. 

It’s ridiculous when I say it out loud, but I’m a total victim of the voice when it is my head.

Why am I so busy comparing myself to others?

Am I OK?

Am I normal?

I wish I had a dime for everytime someone asks me these questions. So obviously, this is not just me thinking this. We just want to know where we fall in the pack because God forbid we are last.

Please don’t let me be last!

Watch my video to see what to do…

How to Stop Comparing Yourself to Others

Tweet: Stop worrying that you are normal, it takes time from living! http://ctt.ec/LpUP3+ @JodiAman #enjoythejourney

There is no normal.

So stop comparing yourself to “normal.” Since without a defined normal, you will always fall short.

Normal doesn’t exist. There is no universal normal, but thinking there is creates a “pseudo” normal, which is this high standard that nobody can clearly define (since it is not real) so that they just keep assuming it’s higher than themselves. Everyone fails in normal.

This is what I commit to:

Stop worrying. Let go of perfectionism. Perfectionism never helped anyone anyway. Perfectionism is pure guilt. It holds me still and doesn’t let me do anything (lest I don’t do it right). I don’t have time for that. I am too busy living.

Go with the flow! Self-doubt has a way of stopping me from doing what my heart wants to do. When I feel that heart tug, I dig in and don’t let any excuses get in my way. I only have to do one thing at a time.

Celebrate what I do and let that give me energy for the next step.

Enjoy the journey. Look around and connect with the people around me. I am not in a race. This world is a kaleidoscope of characters. I want to connect with as many hearts as I can. I’m fine. I am exactly where I am supposed to be right now. I can enjoy myself.

Lighten up. I can’t take myself so seriously. There will always be more to do. It really doesn’t matter what gets done as long as I make sure I make time for what is most important. People. Fun. Prayer. Laughter. Nature.

I can relax and enjoy the night with my family knowing that I did some good things this weekend. And even though I had to make choices, I am glad about the choices I made. How I did compared to everyone doesn’t matter.

I’m in the middle and I belong here.

What do you do when negativity and doubt try to tell you that you are behind the pack?

anxiety test prompt


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36 Comments

Stanley

I try to stop judging myself and to begin loving myself instead.

Jodi Aman

Yay Stanley, Keep it up, you are so worth it!
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Ivan beliveau

Love your optimism & approach. Another thought: consider the possibility that abnormal does exist in the world. Example: In a hypothetical world of extreme violence, appearing “normal” might be considered strange. Who would one have to be in order to appear “normal” in a grossly “abnormal” world? Very abnormal!? Said another way: Appearing “abnormal” (to the masses) would be very personally healthy in a world “out of control.” Dare to be different! Take the road “less traveled.” It might make all the difference from more than one perspective. Being a lemming in the middle of the pack heading for the cliff, might not be too smart. Wish it were easier. Being “upbeat” would still be a plus. Love you,

Jodi Aman

Thanks, Ivan! I always think of that Twilight Zone episode where the girl thinks she’s ugly after an accident or something (beautiful by our standards) and at the end you find out everyone else has pig noses. So her beauty is abnormal. There is so much beautiful and richness in abnormal, who’d want to be normal anyway? Actually I love being unique and endeavor to be unique as much as possible! Love you too! Thanks so much for commenting!
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My Inner Chick

Jodi,
I love that Twilight Zone episode!!! xxx
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My Inner Chick

Such insight.
Such eloquent.
Such TRUTH.
Jodi, you articulate what most of us “Think.” & I love it.
I continually feel better & a bit more “Normal” when I visit here!
You rock Like GAGA, my little guru. xxxxxxxx
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Jodi Aman

Thanks Kim, you always make me feel so good! xoxo
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Kelly Hashway

I’ve never wanted to be normal. I think it’s great that everyone is different.
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Jodi Aman

Me, too!

Harleena Singh

Hi Jodi,

Very much the same things you mentioned above 🙂

Yes, there are times when one is stressed and there seems to be negativity all around. I think you just need to let go of certain thoughts and things and learn to take it easy. Things are never perfect or completely normal as you mentioned, and if they are, they don’t remain like that for long, so you need ways to cope with it all.

Thanks for sharing. Have a nice week ahead 🙂

Jodi Aman

We are forever changing and that is a good thing! Thanks, Harleena!
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Sebastian Aiden Daniels

I use to worry that I was not normal until I realized there was no normal. The one’s who are so focused on being normal may be the craziest among us. It is so true that we need to lighten up and enjoy the journey. Life is short and we may die at any moment so we might as well make the best of it.

Jodi Aman

Congrats on your new book!
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Sebastian Aiden Daniels

Thanks. I appreciate that : D.

totsymae1011

I’m committed to not worrying and you’ve reminded you of that. Since I’m reading something positive every day to motivate, this will serve as another area in which to improve. Thanks.

Jodi Aman

You are very welcome, Totsy. Your posts entertain me and keep me light and happy!

Balroop Singh

Hi Jodi,
I agree with you – it is ingrained in our culture to compare, to excel, to go, go go and that brings all those thoughts of getting left behind. That is why we always wonder – why am I not better, why couldn’t I accomplish what my friend or colleague could?

But we forget what you rightly point out…it is not a race – it is our life. We must live it fully, comfortably, according to our own wishes and plans, if any. It is right go with the flow, trust ourselves and think positive to remain normal. Those who try to pretend that they are not normal have to come down from their flights of fantasy and face the realities of life!

Thanks for sharing lovely thoughts.
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Jodi Aman

Balroop, I so agree! We all kind of know it is not a race, but then we still act as if it is. Silly people, we humans are!
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monicastangledweb

You know, Jodi, this weekend I had so much to do, too. Several articles and reports to write. But I ended up enjoying it. On Saturday, I spent most of the day with my cousins who were in town for the weekend and cousins who live nearby. Then on Sunday I went for a long bike ride with a friend, who’s been having some hard times. But we just chatted about other stuff and rode to our heart’s content, topping if off with piña coladas. Yum! After that my son came over for dinner. See what I mean? I accomplished 25 percent of what I wanted to do and I had so much fun! For some reason, I didn’t care, and I still don’t care that I haven’t written a blog for this week. Oh well.
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Jodi Aman

Sounds like a beautiful weekend. All of it so worthy of your time and energy. You’re a good mom/cousin/friend. Weeks for blog posts come and go. I see that it doesn’t really matter if I skip one. I’d choose people every time!

Maureen

Jodi- you are so awesome with your energy and empathy. SO glad you are doing this excellent work, I look forward to applying your techniques. #mymostlife Mo Faul

Jodi Aman

Maureen,
So happy to have you here! Love your site!

[email protected]

When I find myself becoming negative and feeling like I cant compete with others and I’ll never be good enough, I will find myself thinking of different ways to get what I need to get done. If I am worried about a deadline and think that everyone gets done before me, I will try and keep myself calm and tell myself that I am working on something different and I am putting forth my best effort. I think positive self talk can go a long way.

Jodi Aman

It definitely can! Great work!

Laura Zera

You are so right, it’s not linear. I’m going to hang on to that one and remind myself. I’m also terrible at comparing myself to others sometimes. I try to not analyze what I’m doing in comparison to others so much, and tell myself, “Hey, I’m just doing my thing.” In the same vein, I’m working to not judge what others are doing, because hey, they’re just doing their thing.
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Jodi Aman

It’s like we know, we just have to have this constant reminders. Then we think we are the only ones having to remember. But no, everyone is doing the same thing!
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Kim

This is sooooo common! This topic is always a huge one for me, all of my photography friends are all ahead of me and I use to be so self conscious about it and felt like a failure. But now since I surround myself with positive people, that feeling is going away little by little 🙂

Jodi Aman

Yeah! I’d love to be one of those positive people!

Kathy @ SMART Living 365.com

Hi Jodi! Another post that perfectly expresses what so many of us feel. I could read your list as affirmations every single day. I should read your, “I’m not in race” over and over again–maybe it’s my FOMO rearing it’s ugly head! 🙂

Something else I do that is really helpful comes from all the Law Of Attraction work that I’ve been doing lately. Abraham-Hicks has a statement that really works for me. It is “Everything is always working out for me.” I’ve been saying it so much that any time something happens that doesn’t feel so great it comes to mind. And it really does help. ~Kathy

Jodi Aman

Awesome exercise! I am going to try it! So glad to add to you day! Have a good one!

maxwell ivey

Hi Jodi; Thanks for sharing these positive reminders with us. everyone hears those gremlins that say you aren’t good enough, you aren’t doing enough, you will never be good enough,etc. The real problem is comparing ourselves as you said. It doesn’t matter whether we are comparing ourselves to the neighbor down the street, a more successful blogger, or the mythical normal you referred to. Comparison is a losing game to be avoided at all costs. And i find one of the best things to do during these times is to take action. It could be spending time with the family or telling one of them i think they are special. It could be volunteering or reading a good book. It could be just taking a walk and getting moving. This is one of those posts we can’t hear too often. thanks for sharing and take care, Max
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Jodi Aman

Thanks, Max, so kind of you to come over and add your two cents which very eloquently supports all my points! I am touched that you came over for a visit! You are an inspiration! <3

Nikky44

I don’t really care now about being normal, but I care about being accepted. I used to worry a lot about what normal is and try to fit in that category (I still do sometimes if criticized), thinking that people are judging me only because I am different. I wanted to be normal to go “unnoticed”, but with time I realized that those who criticize or judge will do it regardless of how you are, and those who don’t judge you wouldn’t however you look and whatever you do.
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Jodi Aman

Right on, sister!

Kim

This is such a great post! A lot of people look at the end result and completely forget about the PROCESS and what it takes to get there. I love when you say “It’s not even linear” because it’s true haha! Amazing Jodi 🙂

How To Love Yourself When You Don't Like Yourself Too Much - Jodi Aman

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