Do you believe in miracles?33 comments
Were you ever part of miracles happening? There is something about witnessing the uplifting of a soul, that changes how you see the world.
My world was changed this weekend. I believe in miracles.
Words can almost not describe the movement of energy from the Reclaiming Your Soul Retreat this weekend. Watching these 15 men and women embrace the person that they always wanted to be, forgive themselves, see who they truly are and step away from old stories of confusion, loneliness, and lovelessness, moved me to tears over and over again.
Let me show you what I mean by sharing some stories one retreatant told me. (I tried my best to represent her own words.)
There was a strange sense of recognizing people on Friday night, it was as if I knew some of the others even though I had never met them.
Being surrounded by people who understood, not just listening, but KNEW what I went through, felt very different. It was amazing. That’s what got me the most. See, during the abuse, I was alone. Then after the abuse, I was alone. Now, I am no longer alone.
The night we did the cord disconnection, I had a profound experience. (See Cord Disconnection Guided Meditation here.) I found huge silver chains across my lower abdomen. There were seven of them connected to my seven abusers. To represent the first abuser, C, there was a grappling hook on my uterus. I had to pull it out with both hands and it brought me to my knees, but I got it. Once I got that out, C shot an arrow into my uterus lodging another chain there. I pulled that out too and all of the others. It took all my might. Then, I could see myself healing–the open wounds where the chains came out were closing up, tightening and smoothing out. I took the chains covered with my blood and shot them with lightening towards my abusers and they disappeared. I lay on the ground crying in relief, and my spirit guide – a cougar – curled around me to make sure I felt safe. The dull ache that I have had my whole life in my ovaries was completely gone, and it never came back.
On Sunday morning I woke and sat on the deck reflecting in peace on the weekend. I felt called to walk close to a certain tree and so I did. I followed the tree line around the open field and when I was coming back toward the lodge, I saw a rock that said. “Pick me up!” And so I did and carried it back with me. Later, when we did the soul retrieval, I went to my sacred place and there was nobody there. No parts of my soul. The cougar came and said, “Climb on my back, I will take you there.” We journeyed high into the mountains until we came upon an old wolf. Cougar said this was the end of her journey and the wolf would take me from here, so I held onto his neck and we went further past a stream to a gorgeous lake. Around the lake, there were images of me from every time I was abused, in the same clothes and everything. The very first one held up that rock that I had found this morning and said, “I knew you’d find me.” They all said they were ready to come with me and they did. I came out of that feeling lighter- physically lighter. It was so amazing.
I left that rock in the center of the labyrinth because it helped me. I left it to help someone else. I took home three tiny rocks I found that were sparkly. They remind me that I can sparkle in the sun.
Today at work (Monday after the retreat), people commented that I am smiling more than I usually do. I told them about the retreat and why I went. I let go of the secret I kept for all these years, worrying that people would look at me different, and not want to be my friend. I was amazed that the things I built up in my mind never happened. They were gracious and kind and undramatic about it.
What I walked away with is more than I could have imagined.
Every story, every hope, and realization that people opened themselves to was……I just can’t find the words….it was beautiful and filling. Sometimes a metaphor is the only way we can express this kind of intensity.
Someone said it was food and drink for something she had been starving for for a long time.
Someone else shared this poem, with love.
THE GUEST HOUSE
This being human is a guest house.
Every morning a new arrival.
A joy, a depression, a meanness,
some momentary awareness comes
as an unexpected visitor.
Welcome and entertain them all!
Even if they are a crowd of sorrows,
who violently sweep your house
empty of its furniture,
still, treat each guest honorably.
He may be clearing you out
for some new delight.
The dark thought, the shame, the malice.
meet them at the door laughing and invite them in.
Be grateful for whatever comes.
because each has been sent
as a guide from beyond.
–– Jelaluddin Rumi,
translation by Coleman Barks
(Bow) Thank you everyone for your support, prayers and words of wisdom. We couldn’t have done it without this community being with us in mind and soul.
From my heart to yours, I ask you, do you believe in miracles?
Jodi Aman / /