This might be why you feel so bad28 comments
How about a little perspective?
When I take things personally, it helps me to keep in mind that: It matters less what happens and more how I think about what happens.
What happens come and goes, but the thinking….well, we are stuck with that. And it could, and often does become a prison long after the “what happened” is over.
Some people call it “stinkin’ thinkin’.”
I’ve heard it called the “itty bitty sheetty committee.”
Recently I heard Arianna Huffington call it the “Abnoxious Roommate.”
We all have that voice in our head. The voice of self judgment and blame.
The voice uses our past like a broken record, as “evidence” that we are crap at life.
A young women was recently telling me about a time when she was severely bullied.
“After a while, I did their work for them and demeaned myself in my head.”
After the “what happened” is over, we carry it on in our head, creating elaborate stories of our incompetence, shame, and unworthiness.
Time to stop.
What if we saw things from a new perspective? What if we knew every story–every event–can be seen from many different angles? (Not just the shame angle.)
People don’t treat you bad because they don’t like you (or you did something wrong), they treat you bad because they don’t like themselves.
Watch today’s video and see what I mean.
Loads of things happen to us. Sometimes good things, some neutral, some awful things, and some just small annoyances. When we see it from ourself at the center perspective, we take it all personally. However, when we see that all other people are human and fragile and have limits, worries, and make mistakes, and act from their ego, we can have a different understanding of life in general. That Annoying Roommate won’t have its evidence to use against us.
**If you have been oppressed or abused, this can be confusing so I want to clarify. The new perspective isn’t that you misunderstood, or that it didn’t happen. You do understand and it did happen.
The new perspective is that: something is not wrong with YOU.
Remember: People aren’t mean to you because they do not like you. They are mean to you because they don’t like themselves.
(And it is because of the annoying roommate that you notice it.)
Has this happened to you? Have you ever seen things one way, and later found out it was a whole other scenario that you had originally thought? Tell me what happened!
Jodi Aman / /