Rape In The News: There Is Justice

24 comments

Just Sunday morning, I woke up to three stories of rape in the news of national newspapers.

Air_Force_trainer_gets_4_years_for_raping_trainee

Ohio_to_consider_charges_against_others_in_rape

Indian_police_arrest_5_over_Swiss_tourists_rape

It is not because rape is more prevalent. It is because girls and women, wrapped in their communities, are coming forward. Saying this is not OK. The community support is what makes a difference. It is most difficult for a woman to break the silence alone.

 

justic for rape

You know that African Proverb that says it takes a village to raise a child? Well, it takes a community to make a change. To heal. To restore balance. The definition of abuse is when one or more persons hurts another (others) taking advantage of an imbalance of power. Strength to stop abuse happens in numbers.

A tree alone on a prairie is vulnerable to the weather, but in a forest with all of the other trees roots and branches intertwining, it can endure. We can be the other trees for each other. It is not fair what some trees have to experience, but if we are with them, we can take some of the impact and they don’t have to carry it all.

What is “fair”?

My daughter this morning said, “It is not fair that Leo [her brother] has no school Friday.”  I said “Yep, that’s life.” In little and big ways life seems not to be fair.

Sometimes there is traditional justice. In each of these the perpetrators were convicted but conviction is rare.

So many people who have been hurt in this way, will never see traditional justice done. 54% of sexual assaults are not reported to the police.  What is worse is that even those that are reported, another 43% of all rapists are not convicted. (www.rainn.org)

For example, I walked a strong woman through the grand jury last fall after a date rape. She did everything the police told her to do, yet the grand jury decided not to prosecute. This put a hole in her heart and sent a shock wave through her community. “It is Ok that you were raped.” was the message she received. “You don’t matter.” was what she heard. (I disagree.)

This is not fair.

But this is not her whole life. This ought not to be her definition of herself.

The big picture

Life seems to be not fair because we only see a small slice of it. I like to think that in the very big picture (whole lives of our soul), everything “comes out in the wash.”  The abuser  will be accountable for his or her actions even if not in the traditional sense. In any short term time, things appear unfair; but in the whole time, all will be restored.

And these hurts, while they mean everything now, won’t mean as much. Traditional justice is only one piece of justice.

If we have been hurt, we have to find justice inside our hearts because this is where healing begins.

Today I want to do a shout out to a beautiful soul-sister from our community who in the last few years has gone beyond the strength that she knew.  Today (March 18) is the sentencing of her childhood molester (after 2.5 years of trial). As allowed, she is standing up in court and reading a victim  impact statement. Can you image how brave she must be? I am in awe.

Please leave her a loving message in the comments below to show your support!


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24 Comments

My Inner Chick

****A tree alone on a prairie is vulnerable to the weather, but in a forest with all of the other trees roots and branches intertwining, it can endure***

b e a u t i f u l.

Xxx LOVE xxx
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Jodi Lobozzo Aman

Thanks, Kimmy!

Harleena [email protected] Writer

Hi Jodi,

All I can say to this woman of courage is that you are a true inspiration to many like us, and we are with you.

I know dealing with rape isn’t easy for anyone, and having undergone so much, she still has the courage to go ahead and deal with so many people – hats’off to her.

I also read about the rape of the Swiss women and was just wondering when all of this will stop. Why aren’t the policy makers more strict in their rules, and why do so many rapes have to keep taking place daily – where do women stand, and are they really secure in this world…so many thoughts keep coming to mine. And to think that I myself had two teen daughters just makes me pray and hope that all remains well with them whenever they step out too.

Thanks for sharing and creating awareness. Have a nice week ahead 🙂

Jodi Lobozzo Aman

Thanks, Harleena!
Women are amazing! Especially you!
Thank you for your thoughtful words! You have a great week, too!
XoJ

Kelly Hashway

What a great retreat. It sounds like a great opportunity for healing.
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Jodi Lobozzo Aman

I planning it to be a special time. Thanks, Kelly!

Tina Barbour

“Life seems to be not fair because we only see a small slice of it. I like to think that in the very big picture (whole lives of our soul), everything “comes out in the wash.”” This is so important to remember. We can’t see the whole picture from our vantage point, but we must remember that there is a bigger picture.

To the woman who is giving her impact statement: You are so brave, and you are an inspiration to me. Blessings to you as you continue your healing.

Thank you for being a source of inspiration and healing, Jodi!
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Jodi Lobozzo Aman

Thanks for your kind words, I’m sure they will be appreciated.

You, my dear are an inspiration, too!
XoJ

Stanley

That is a tremendously courageous thing to do! This woman has found the inner strength not only to face her abuser but a system that tends to minimize the effects of rape and sexual assault. I commend her and fully support her in finding this strength within herself! It is always there and I think that it is beyond awesome that she can face her abuser and the rest of the court. I am with her all the way!

Jodi Lobozzo Aman

And she is with you too! Hopefully we’ll meet her in person!
XoJ

Dan

Amazing.I completely admire this woman’s bravery! And you are completely correct Jodi, even if someone isn’t convicted of a heinous act (which they commited) in this life, they will definitely get punished in the afterlife or their next life.

Blessed Be
-Dan

Jodi Lobozzo Aman

Yes, Dan, and we don’t have to worry about it. Just remember you have not committed anything you have to feel guilt about!
XoJ

Beverly Diehl

Kudos to every woman, girl, man and boy who finds the courage to face her or his attacker and say, No. Not okay, never okay.

And even if that never happens – s/he doesn’t get caught in this lifetime, be proud that you/we have not only survived, but learned to thrive. Going on to NOT let a sexual assault steal our life is the best revenge.
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Jodi Lobozzo Aman

Bev, Girl you know it! I agree that thriving is the BEST revenge!

kirri white

“If we have been hurt, we have to find justice inside our hearts. This is where healing begins.”

I can attest that is 100 percent truth.

We can learn to own trauma as part of our story, but we don’t have to become the story.

Inspiring as always.
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Jodi Lobozzo Aman

Thanks Kirri, Keeping ourselves separate from the story is a trick but we can do it! xoJ

Monica

Jodi, So glad to read your post. I was watching the news about the 16-year old in Ohio. I’m glad those boys were found guilty. I heard one of them utter something about his career in football being over. Too bad he didn’t think about it before he decided to rape her. I’m tired of men getting away with it. It’s got to stop. Really.
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Jodi Lobozzo Aman

I wholeheartedly agree!

Laura Zera

I also love that tree quote. Standing together would also do a lot to remove the shame around rape and in other situations as well, I’m thinking. You’re going to have quite the retreat in April. Strong, brave people, supporting and inspiring each other. It will be transformational, I’m sure.
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Jodi Lobozzo Aman

Thanks Laura for the kind words about the retreat. I am planning some special things!

Kelly Hashway

I’m glad the silence is being broken. Now if we could just put an end to this altogether!
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Jodi Lobozzo Aman

We’ll have to keep working on it!

brenda

I’m with Bev, and everyone here, but first, Jodi, what a powerful post and reminder to anyone who has been hurt this way they have a support.
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Jodi Lobozzo Aman

Thanks, Brenda!


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