Why saying please is so important

37 comments

We were all taught when we were little to say “please”, but why is it such an important word to add to every conversation?

I’ll tell you in this video…

Tweet: Saying please shows a person that they matter http://ctt.ec/9aU5x+ @JodiAman #pleaseRT #relationships

Why is saying please so important? 

Because “please” is acknowledging. “Please” helps a person feel worthy.

Never leave this little word out. Your relationships will grow stronger and more mutual. Your loved ones will shine a bit brighter and you will feel good.

Look people in the eyes and add a smile for good measure. Saying “please” is like giving love.

How do you want to be in the world?

marianne williamson bless another person

What if you think of every conversation–actually–every interaction, as an opportunity to make the world a better place?

How would you be in them?

Just like saying please, there are many things we can do to make people feel like they matter.

I recently did an exercise (from The Charge by Brendan Burchard) where I came up with three words on how I wanted to be in the world.

I chose

Loving

Energetic

Excited

And then, I had to choose three words to name how I wanted to be with other people.

I chose

Acknowledging

Interested

Compassionate

These are like a mini mission statement. I repeat them over and over before doing anything and it keeps me focused on what is most important to me: Connecting to others in ways to lift everyone’s spirit.

It is so simple, yet has a huge impact on bringing purposeful consciousness into everything I do. It changes me for the better, and ripples out to everyone around me. (Read Be the Ripple by Louise Gallagher)

It improves the quality of my mind’s focus from negative things that bother me to a more positive happy way of being and feeling.

I take those extra moments to look people in the eyes and say please. To smile when I speak on the phone or type an email. To touch someone’s arm when I speak to them. To ask people how they are when I bump into them. To give a real hug. To be silly!

Did you catch my outtake video on Facebook this week? We all have to take ourselves less seriously. While you are there, please “like” my page!

Don’t forget the “Thank You”!

If you were to choose three words right now on how you want to be in the world, what would they be?

Please, in the comments below, write your words! Or tell me a story about “please.”

anxiety test prompt


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37 Comments

Louise Gallagher

Thank you Jodi!

And so true — I love Brendan Burchard’s 3 word exercise. My words are — Kind. Inspiring. Passionate.

and…

Compassionate

Present

Light-hearted
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Jodi Aman

Present is a beautiful way to be. I think when you are, you bring it to others, too. I guess any way we are, we bring it to others. 🙂

Louise Gallagher

So true — however we are in the world, that’s how we turn up and that’s how the world turns up for us! 🙂 Hugs JOdi — Love the new header of your website.
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Sebastian Aiden Daniels

I like this exercise. The three words would have to be caring, sharing and bearing. I wanted to rhyme. I am using bearing in the sense of “bear with me.” Without me trying to be cute, the three words would be caring, generous, and patient.

I feel that using the words thank you and please and thinking about why you are saying it and what they mean has a dramatic effect on your moods and thoughts.

How I would want to be with other people are the same three as above.

Jodi Aman

I like bearing. It’s lke patience and solidarity, right? What a conscious word! Any of these can be life changing!

Sebastian Aiden Daniels

Yeah that is how I intended it to be used. : D.

It comes from the phrase, but according to dictionary.com it isn’t what the word is used for. I like your word excited. Being excited about life is so important in order to achieve your goals.

Stanley

My 3 words for saying please is to show compassion, acknowledgment, and validation. How I want to be in the world is loving, confident and healer.
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Jodi Aman

Beautiful, Stanley. When the doubt comes, refocus on these immediately!

lisa thomson-The Great Escape...

Such a simple concept but so true, Jodi. I always say thank you. I thank people for little things they do. I try to remember to thank my partner when he does stuff for me. Please is an awesome word. I sometimes correlate it to begging though. I guess that’s left over from childhood. 🙂
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Jodi Aman

I understand what you mean about begging. Begging gives people power over you. Depending on who you do this to, it can be dangerous. This is how I answer Nikky who heard that using please with kids decreases your authority.

“I don’t agree with that advice about kids. Please doesn’t diminish authority at all in my book. Following through about what you are asking not being a choice makes it authority. I guess if you are pleading with kids to stop something, this is not helpful. For example, begging them to stop merely for your sake, “Please stop, I cannot take more.” rather than, “Please stop. That is not how we treat people. If you do it again, you will lose your phone.” In the first example, it is not the please that makes it lack authority, it is the parent giving kids the power over their (the parent’s) emotions.”
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totsymae1011

It’s rare that I hear please anymore. Requests have become more like demands. I do wonder if please, like love, can be expressed without saying it. Just a thought.
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Jodi Aman

I do believe it can be expressed without saying it and in a mutual relationship, this could work. If people could just let their ego go aside…
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Tina Fariss Barbour

I agree that saying please is so important. You’re acknowledging that person and what he or she is going to do for you. Thanks for reminding us that the little things we say can make a big difference!

My three words for how I want to be: encouraging, compassionate, empathetic.
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Jodi Aman

You totally are those things!
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Balroop Singh

Hi Jodi,

I agree with you ‘please’ is such a beautiful word, it connects us immediately… only if it is used sincerely. It brings a whiff of kindness along, we know our efforts are being appreciated. But when it is used too much, it loses its import…making people immune! I have seen people taking undue advantage of this word.

Thanks for the reminder! Love your spirit!
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Jodi Aman

Interesting! I cannot think of an example of how someone could take advantage of this word. But I am intrigued! Can you tell me what you mean?
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Jodi Aman

Balroop, Did you mean the person saying please takes advantage or the person hearing please?

Balroop Singh

Hi Jodi,

I am sorry I am replying so late, didn’t see your question.
The person saying please takes advantage by just being kind –such people play with your emotions, manipulate you into doing whatever errands they can manage to get done. My older brother could trick me into that. My boss must have taken such an advantage innumerable times till I realised how she was making me work extra with this kind word. She would just say: Balroop, could you please do this for me and I could never refuse, out of respect and goodness!
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Jodi Aman

Oh That’s interesting! I’m glad that I asked. But I wonder if it is a cultural pull for you.

monicastangledweb

Jodi, I really like your choices and can see picking the same ones. But here are three more that I’d add:
Tolerant
Integrity
Considerate

And I agree about the words, Please and Thank you. We need to use it more.
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Jodi Aman

I think our society is so lacking integrity these days so I am glad to see it on your list. Oh, I think we lack tolerance and consdieration too. As a whole, we can all be a little less selfish!
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Nikky44

I ususally use please and thank you in all situations, but was told it was wrong when asking something from your children because it gives them the choice to say no? That this is a “lack of authority’.
The three words on how I want to be in the world: Light, appreciative, grateful
The three words to name how I want to be with other people; loving, caring, understanding
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Jodi Aman

I don’t agree with that advice about kids. Please doesn’t diminish authority at all in my book. Following through about what you are asking not being a choice makes it authority. I guess if you are pleading with kids to stop something, this is not helpful. For example, begging them to stop merely for your sake, “Please stop, I cannot take more.” rather than, “Please stop. That is not how we treat people. If you do it again, you will lose your phone.” In the first example, it is not the please that makes it lack authority, it is the parent giving kids the power over their (the parent’s) emotions. I think you’ll agree! I love that you use the word “light”- beautiful!
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Nikky44

After posting my comment, I realized you might misunderstand what I mean by “light”, but it made me smile and expect the confusion. What I meant by light is the opposite of heavy, opposite of a burden.
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Jodi Aman

Nope. This is what I thought you meant.

Louis

Dear Jodi,

I am very pleased and grateful to write you because you are a life transformer.

Thanks and God bless you.

Warm regards.

Mr. Louis

Jodi Aman

Thank you so much, Louis! So kind of you to say!

Soniya

Hi Jodi
I really like reading your emails

Soniya

Jodi Aman

Thanks Soniya! I like writing them!

Laura Zera

My take on “please” is that when it’s missing from a request, it makes the sentence sound jarring, and abrupt (and the requester abrupt, too). **It just belongs!**
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Jodi Aman

Please let me tell you that you rock!

mary cay wessel

Jodi it pleases me when you present us with the opportunity to think about the little things in our everyday doings. This a great exercise~* when someone says “please” to me I feel validated, respected and sometimes (haha) useful. When I say please to others I genuinely want them to know that I value their aide and trust them with my need. I enjoy how sometimes saying “Pleeeze” juuust right…..can break down thick stubborn walls =)
three words~how I want to be in the world? Courageous, Hopeful & Spiritual
and how I would like to be to others? Loving, Mindful & Dependable
Let’s dance Jodi! XO marycay

Jodi Aman

I can hear you saying please and it opening up the world. You have that way about you! You are the most loyal dependable perosn I know! And very courageous, hopeful and spiritual And loving! xoxo

My Inner Chick

LOooooooooooooVE your videos so much, Jodi.
I feel as if I’m visiting you inside your warm, comforting home!
Can you serve some coffee next time?
—–saying “Please” is important to me because it ‘s respectful, kind, important. It says that person has manners & intelligence.
I also like “Thank You!”
Btw. Are you a Super Model? Damn you. xxxxxxx
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Jodi Aman

You would be such an honored guest! Thanks so much for saying I am a super model. Haha! I like myself through your eyes. I think lots of people like themselves through your eyes. You remind people to love themselves! <3 I wish we lived closer, but I do have a feeling we will meet in person some day!

Troy S.

“If you were to choose three words right now on how you want to be in the world, what would they be?”
Hmmm…
The first thing that comes to mind is ‘Curious’. Meaning I never want to lose my child like sense of curiosity.
Next would have to be something like ‘Supportive’ or ‘Encouraging’. To be a source to support or encourage others to follow their dreams.
Finally, I would say ‘Generous’. To give to others expecting nothing in return.
These are the first three that come to mind right away though I would like to meditate on this and explore it deeper.
Thank you for ‘inspiring’ which seems like it would be a good word for you Jodi.

David

Jodi,

For me saying please validates the other person as being present with you. Additionally, it shows compassion and kindness for the individual as they respond to your request. Lastly, it allows the individual to know you thankful for their kindness.


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