What Parts Of You Don’t You See?

41 comments

Our mind is full of thoughts

Human’s on average have 60,000 thoughts a day.  We can’t even register all of the thoughts that we have!

If we hold an identity of ourselves, for example: “insignificant”; an opinion about a person: “selfish;” or a certain view of the world: “chaos,” we notice and remember  the thoughts that go along with these definitions. We see our inadequacies, we see another person’s meanness, we see a world falling apart. And sometimes not much else.

What parts of you don't you see?

If our thought is evidence for what we believe, we take it in and solidify its truth status. (Even if that “truth” is not true, i.e., “I am not worthy.”). This, obviously, greatly effects how we respond to that thought.

The things is, we have other ideas, too! But when they do not add to our present understanding, they are usually discarded.

“I am inherently good.”

What would happen if we would notice them more? “I did something good.” “She was nice to him.” “Saving one paper napkin does make a difference.” ??? Wouldn’t that have us taking action towards these more? Absolutely!

Our Western culture is indoctrinated to notice “the bad.” This is directly from commercialism. Advertisers need us to see our deficits so that we need their products to make us look, feel, and be better. We have complied, and most of us notice the negative far more than perceive the positive.

You can do this!

How many time a day do you smile?

Babies smile 400 times a day, teenagers smile 17 times a day, and 60 year-olds smile 4 times a day.  It seems that as we grow, we think we have less to smile about. What happens? Why does negativity take over positivity?

People say that we are our own worse critic, and I tend to agree. We are harsh and beat our selves up over the littlest thing, adding to our feelings of inadequacy. The voices of people who have hurt us have far more weight that any compliments we have had along the way.

Your fears are not there to scare you. They are there to let you know that something is worth it C. JoyBell C.

WE must do something to change this! We have to start seeing ourselves and our world through a different lens, or else we will become more and more unhappy, and our world will fall farther into disarray. And, we have to “be the change that we want to see” and it starts with how we see ourselves. We have to see ourselves as having personal agency. That we are not passive recipients of this life, but agents to make a difference. We need to recognize our abilities and the abilities of all around us (and no longer assume we need this or that product or pill to save us.)

We need to notice what is out there to smile about, what is in our world worth saving.

Here is my random list….

A hug from a child, a much awaited “I love you,” a “thank you,” a fawn drinking from her mother, a plant spouting fresh leaves, beautiful music, random acts of kindness, a gorgeous sunset, a farmers market, a outstretched hand, a beautiful quote, a message from an old friend, lying on the soft grass, feeding the hungry, a small group of citizens making a difference in their local government…

Please add to the list in the comments section. What parts of you don’t you see? 


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41 Comments

nikky44

“What would you like to notice more in your self and in the world?”
The gifts life is offering. The small signs of love. The Divine help in every moment. The importance of a smile from someone suffering. The innocence of children. A hopeful thought on a dark day. All the messages of love and support I received from friends who believed without witnessing.
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Jodi Lobozzo Aman

Love the last one, believe without witnessing, validates you directly. You deserve it!

nikky44

Thank you Jodi <3
Some of the messages I received last week were wonderful and came from people I never talked to, people who were visiting the blog for the first time. I haven't seen that before. It might seem "normal", but for me, it's something wonderful.
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Jodi Lobozzo Aman

I am so glad, it takes a whole lot of good to counter the heaviness sometimes! I am so glad. I still never did read your last post!

nikky44

you did? unless its someone else who came through your Blog 🙂
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Jodi Lobozzo Aman

Sorry, I was crazy last week.:)

Harleena [email protected] Writer

Loved your list Jodi!

I would just add small things in life need to be valued and treasured, because life is so-so short and unpredictable. And we need to find reasons to smile in this beautiful life given by Him, not the other way round. 🙂

The love of your kids, their smallest of gestures, their smiles, their tears, the love of someone you love dearly, the early morning dew, the first rays of the sun, the mist, the first rain,….the list is truly endless.

Thanks for sharing such wonderful thoughts with all of us, and I love the picture quotes as well. 🙂

Jodi Lobozzo Aman

Thanks Harleena!

It is endless! I had to stop myself, but kept thinking of more! I could have went on and on. It is like once you start to see them, it helps you see more! Don’t you think?

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Cynthia B

I think I am going to try smiling more today. i need a little pick me up and I read that just trying to smile can pick up your mood!

Jodi Lobozzo Aman

Indeed it can, it changes the chemistry in the brain, Releasing happy peptides! Do it! Do it!

Kelly Hashway

I love the C. Joybell C. quote! That’s perfect.
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Jodi Lobozzo Aman

It is like my mantra!

Cindy Brown

That’s funny, I have a draft in Blogger right now called, “The Art of the Smile” – so important, so under-used.
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Jodi Lobozzo Aman

Cannot wait to read it! You always make me smile!

Naila Shakoor

Your blog entries are just genius! I love all of your entries but I must say that this one spoke to me deeply. I feel like it was written just for me, lol. I love all of the factoids…60,000 thoughts a day!!! That is incredible. I often wish I could remember and record everything I think in a day. Lately i’ve been working on “seeing the bigger picture” and this entry really helps me with that. I didn’t realize how “our Western culture is indoctrinated to notice “the bad.” and that it comes directly from commercialism! It’s helpful to understand that because it takes weight off of me feeling bad about feeling bad. I’m taking a class called Social Injustice and Public Health, its fascinating and motivating but VERY sad! Lately i’ve been thinking what a sad, twisted world we live in, but I notice that it makes me feel worse and less motivated to change. So what I would like to notice more in myself and others are just small positive things. I could say, there are sad things in this world but I can make changes and help others! If i’m annoyed with someone, I can name one positive thing that I DO like about them.

Jodi Lobozzo Aman

Hi Naila, Lovely! So glad to see you here! When I want to complain, I always try to think of what I can do about it instead. Take action with purpose, and it feels so much better than just complaining!

Naila Shakoor

Thank you = )

Lisa W. Rosenberg

Jodi, I would like to see my life first in terms of all the beautiful, good, loving things and people that are in it. The habit to break is seeing everything through the lens of what chores I need to complete before I permit myself to enjoy the rest–my children, husband, the sunshine, a great cup of coffee … you get the idea. Being aware of this tendency helps me stop it and laugh at myself, but it’s still a habit! So, to answer: What I don’t see immediately is that I deserve to enjoy myself without having to earn every minute of that enjoyment.
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Jodi Lobozzo Aman

The problem of a recovering perfectionist. Thinking you have to “perform perfect” to deserve anything. We have to stop think of the world in terms of serving and not deserving, this dualism cause so many problems in both extremes!

Jim

It’s funny that your article today talks about all the thoughts that go through our head in a day. It’s very easy to get caught up in the negative ones. I was reminded by my wife the other day that I have been very negative lately regarding our children and I hadn’t realized that I was even doing it. I am going to really concentrate on finding the good things that come my way every day and smile more often.

Jodi Lobozzo Aman

Thank you, Jim, I am so glad, if I made one person smile with my post it is all worth it to me!

Nadine Feldman

I would like to notice and fully experience every moment, for every moment is precious. I think of what Julia Cameron says — something like, in this present moment we are now, always, all right.
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Jodi Lobozzo Aman

Oh, yes, I always try to think, right this second are there any problems? Even though I am sad about a loss, or worried about the future, there is never a problem at this exact second. I can always handle it.

Samantha

I think “Why me?” a thousand times a day. I know it is not helpful to my predicament, but it comes anyway. After reading this, I am going to try to plan to DO something instead. Jodi, you are always telling me to do that anyway.

Jodi Lobozzo Aman

Yes, I am because it gets us out of our thought and into our bodies! Out of our past and further and into the present moment!

Tina Barbour

Oh, I needed this, Jodi. I am battling my low sense of self–that I’m not as important as everyone else, that it doesn’t matter what I feel, that I am hopeless in changing my life. All these things are contributing to depression, and my therapy is geared towards working on that. I love, love, love how you explain it here! We can choose the thoughts we pay attention to!

I want more of I am worthy of good, all people are worthy of good, the Divine is within all of us, the world is held in the Divine . . . and on and on.

Thank you!
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Jodi Lobozzo Aman

Oh Tina! I am so glad I can contribute to the work you are doing! I see so much light in your determination. You are soooooo important! Sooooooo worthy, it helps not to forget that!

Stanley

Jodi. What a wonderful reminder to look for the good in this world. I so often find myself seeing the injustices and what I see as negative inside me. I would like to smile more than 4 times a day to those things that are truly important. The innocence of a child, a couple holding hands, a rabbit running across the yard, someone saying thank you, the sounds of crickets and peepers at night, reaching out to others and I too could on. I would like to have many of my 60,000 thoughts to be ones like these instead of the negative ones that bully their way to my conscienceless.

Jodi Lobozzo Aman

Thank you these lost are beautiful! So heart warming, but you always are!

Stanley

Jodi. What a wonderful reminder to be aware of those things worth smiling about. I would sure like to smile more than 4 times a day! Some things I notice but don’t always smile about are a child’s innocence, a couple holding hands, a hug, the sunshine, the sounds of crickets and peepers calling on a summer evening, the sound of laughter, someone reaching out a hand, someone saying thank you, praying for another. My list could also go on. I would like more of my 60,000 thoughts be like these instead of the negative ones that bully their way to the front of my conscienceness. How wonderful would that be?!!!

Jodi Lobozzo Aman

I would like them to be more positive too, since I know it would be your relief!

Beverly Diehl

This morning I found a diamond, literally! Mind you, it is one I had lost from an heirloom ring two days earlier, and I was pretty heartbroken then, but I have to say, it has made me smile all day long.

There are always diamonds to be found, figuratively speaking. Hope to always see ’em sparkle.
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Jodi Lobozzo Aman

Appreciate the little things! So happy for you, I am sure it means more than it is worth!

Sherrey Meyer

Loved this post, and love to smile but I think I could smile more. 🙂 Thanks for pointing out the negative opinions we have of ourselves and perhaps others, and those get in the way of really enjoying life. If I were going to list things I’d like to notice more in myself, I’d list (1) less quickness to speak without thinking, (2) more positive conversation with those who want to be negative, (3) just showing up and being where needed, and (4) for the world, I’d like to see more harmony among peoples, perhaps in the form of less labeling.
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Jodi Lobozzo Aman

Yes! Labeling is such and excuse to make us feel like we are better than others, causes so many problems. Us-them mentality! We need to see how we are similar!

Brenda

A fabulous list, as ever. I am a big smiler and laugh-er. Life has it’s moments, and we call get caught up in the nitty gritty, and the smile, well it goes a long way and can make someone’s day. It pays forward, too. You never know when it will come back to you.
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Jodi Lobozzo Aman

Smiling is so paying it forward! It can shift the energy of everyone you do it to! Keep it up!

Galen Pearl

Well, I’m 60 and I smile! A few years ago, someone asked me what was wrong. Nothing was wrong, but apparently I had a scowl on my face. That made me realize that I wanted to present a smiling face to the world and to my inner world. So I started smiling that day. I hope that smiling is now my “default” face!

About those 60,000 thoughts, almost 80% of those thoughts are thought we think habitually, the background music of our minds. So all the more important to develop positive thinking habits so that when we are not consciously paying attention, the background music will continue in beauty.

Great post!
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Jodi Lobozzo Aman

Thanks Galen! I see you smiling and spreading the goodness around! It is definitely changing habits. It is all about choice, making a choice to be different!

Poems By Rumi | Heal Now and Forever

[…] What parts of you don’t you see? I think he is talking about shame. If we could get rid of fear and shame, we could see ourselves clearly. (Who Do You Think You Are?) Would you like to See Through Spirits Eyes? Do the guided meditation. […]


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