When You Feel Like You are Going Backwards Remember: There is Only One Direction

31 comments

Ever feel like you are going backwards?

Someone wrote this on my Facebook page:

After two good days I can’t stop crying today. It feels like I’m back to how I was feeling before. Those two days were brilliant. Today I feel scared it won’t come back! What do I do for myself? 

I replied:

Just have to think of the crying as part of the progress instead of a regression. Just the next layer, not the old layer. Sometimes when we feel good, we are ready to heal the next layer.  We feel it deeply, but this is not regression. It is part of the process. You will come out of it since you were ready to do this right now. Celebrate that it is progress and these tears mean one more layer being healed. This is transient. You will not stay here. The only thing we can count on is that things change! xoxo

There is only one direction, hold one, stay positive, believe in yourself, don't give up.

Remember: There is only one direction

There is only one direction

Just remember when things are hard, it is another experience, another opportunity to heal deeper.  This is what we are here for. If we open to it, it will be easier. Resistance can stall they process. But ask for mercy. And ask for a break before the next layer!  It doesn’t always have to be hard.  Learn the lesson quick so the suffering can end.

There is only one direction to travel, forward.  But the best way to do this is to stay in the present.  Getting stuck in the past and beating ourselves up for feeling bad again is the worst thing we can do.  Pull up your bootstraps, surround yourself with support, grab some inspiration, and hold on to the handlebars.  Know it is temporary.

How do you keep in mind ‘there is only one direction’? How do you get through a hard time? Tell me!

thee is only one direction

http://abundantsoul.com


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31 Comments

Nikky44

I try to connect with people I love. It is not important for me to “talk” about how I’m feeling or what happened. It surely help, but what I need is not to be alone in that moment, to have someone who shares the moment with me, live it with me even if in silence.Calling the person by just sending one word, one sign, anything is enough to make feel this person’s presence, even before getting an answer, and that is based on trust, because I trust the person and that she’ll understand.
On another hand, I need to keep my mind busy, and I do that by reading Blogs, watching TV, helping a friend.
I used to be scared to “enjoy” anything not to be disappointed later, but that was when I was still worrying about the future and what it might bring. It’s only after you think you lost everything that you learn to appreciate what you have.

Jodi Lobozzo Aman

I am glad you are no longer to enjoy things. That is how we live! if we are scared of losing, we can never enjoy what we have!

The Writing Goddess

Love this post, and the graphic is super-helpful. Yes, we can focus on that little piece, which looks like a downhill run, OR we can see that we are gradually, continuing moving uphill, with some stutter-steps and some backwards motion.
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Jodi Lobozzo Aman

Thanks for the love! It is all part of the process. Thanks for the comment!

totsymae1011

Good advice. A woman from South Africa told me yesterday, “I just want peace and happiness.” I could be wrong but I told her both were fleeting. They come and go as life happens. And as this one fella said yesterday, “You have to stay in the middle of the wave and ride it.” Life sure is on juggling and balancing act, that’ for sure.
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Jodi Lobozzo Aman

yes, everything is fleeting, but sometimes that is the good news. Moments pass, the meaning stays longer, but we can change it!

Tina Barbour

I love the idea that the pain and tears are actually signs of dealing with another layer and healing.

I used to believe like I couldn’t enjoy and pay attention to my life until I “felt” better. Now, even when I’m anxious about something or dread something, I try to continue to do the things in my daily life that are good for others and good for me: talking and laughing with my husband, hanging out with and playing with my cats, reading, writing, etc. I don’t want to waste any more time waiting for things to be perfect.
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Jodi Lobozzo Aman

I used to beat myself up so much before realizing it was the next layer. We can have some good times even through the bad times. in fact, i think this is what we are supposed to do!

Peggy

Awesome, Jodi! This would lift anyone up! Such a great perspective!

Jodi Lobozzo Aman

Thanks, Peggy, So sweet of you to say. I hope it does. This concept always gave me a lift when I feel like I slipped backwards!

Laura Zera (@laurazera)

Love this line: “Just remember when things are hard, it is another experience, another opportunity to heal deeper.” That’s a great way to reframe the feeling-crappy days into something that is useful and can even be beneficial. Thank you for your wisdom, Jodi. xo

Jodi Lobozzo Aman

I am all about reframing! It is all about meaning and we can change it, ya know? It makes or breaks a life how we see the situations that we are in.

Stacia ~ simply stacia blog

I can so relate to the roller coaster of emotions, the feeling good for a few days, and then one total day of full blow tears. I get so down in those moments, but treat it like a cleansing, healing type thing and just know that I’m getting to where I need to be emotionally by feeling everything there is to feel about whatever it is I’m going through.

I try and find something positive, quotes, blogs, a book, that will life my spirits.

It’s great to know I’m not the “only” one !!!

Awesome post!

Jodi Lobozzo Aman

Thanks you, Stacia! You are definitely in the majority! I think everyone feels that way, and we keep hanging on!

Galen Pearl

I used to push my way through a hard time like a bull, trying to force things to go my way, trying to fight like a bullfight, trying to use my strength to escape the discomfort. How did that work? Not so great. I had to really learn to be still and wait, to belly breathe, to listen, to pay attention, to care for myself, to not be driven by fear, to keep my heart open. Great post–love the graphic.
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Jodi Lobozzo Aman

Yes, pushing or not pushing, we will get through. Nothing stays the same, always changing!

Lisa W. Rosenberg

Jodi, I have this feeling that your clients must have a sense of relief just being in your positive presence!

I used to do this thing with really depressed people who just felt paralyzed and then felt guilty for not accomplishing anything, which would lead to deep sadness. After acknowledging that depression was really, truly real, we’d make a “two item To Do list” (your image above reminded me of this). The night before, a client would choose two things she would accomplish the next day, which could be as simple as “take shower” or “call Aunt Jenny,” depending on level of depression. The very act of crossing something off a list felt very empowering, gave people a sense of self-efficacy which went a long way toward getting past the sense of helplessness.
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Jodi Lobozzo Aman

Thanks so much! I hope they do! I do have my bad days too, where I am not much help to anyone. But those days I still believe in people, I believe that people get through things. I have seen it so many times not to believe it. I love your small steps activity. Just one little step implies movement and it’s symbolic of possibility! Thanks for this comment!

Bella

Jodi, you’re right–the only way is forward! Yet, like you mention, healing is a process that involves the many layers that got us to where we are in the present. Some of these may be the result of pain, while others are part of the ongoing process that is self fulfillment. Whenever I’m in pain, I try to process what I’m feeling by embracing whatever emotion engulfs my being. If that happens to be grief, then I let it wash over me and cry till I’m spent. I find that helps me rid myself of the toxins that ravage the soul. If, on the other hand, the emotion is happiness, I also let myself bathe in its presence. My nana once told me that no emotion is static; we are forever evolving. As such, we should seek comfort in knowing pain is transitory and enjoy joy when it makes its presence known. Hugs to you, lady! 🙂
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Jodi Lobozzo Aman

Just working with someone today who is peeling off layers of abuse, like past lives of it and it just takes forever, but from a different perspective, it can heal so quickly. I think it takes so long since we still hold onto stuff.

My Inner Chick

There is only one direction to travel, forward.***

I’m trying. O, I’m trying.

Lovely Post. Xx
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Jodi Lobozzo Aman

I know you are trying, kim would want you to keeping stepping forward! Your nephew needs you to! And all the other women that you are helping!

Nikky44

<3 <3 <3
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Monica

Jodi, this is wonderful and uplifting. It never occurred to me to look at a crying jag, after two days of feeling better, as just part of the progression of healing. Of course, it makes sense! Thank you for allowing me to see things in a different way. Such a positive post!
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Jodi Lobozzo Aman

Thanks Monica, your compliments mean so much to me! I am glad I gave you a new perspective!

Joe Lobozzo

Jodi,

I got a lot of good thoughts and ideas from this post.

Thanks,

Joe

Jodi Lobozzo Aman

Thank you, they have helping me. I hope they help you!

Nikky44

Thank you Jodi 🙂

I’m sure you knew I needed to read that one again. When reading again the advice you are giving I can see how important it is to be aware of the difficult situation and be ready to face it knowing that it is for our own good and progress.
I am taking a lot of support from you, and I will never thank you enough.
“Learn the lesson quick so the suffering can end” Sometimes I wonder what is the lesson I am learning from all that, but I guess I will know at the right time.
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Jodi Lobozzo Aman

It will reveal and you would do the same for someone else!

Nikky44

Yes, I would try to do the same, but I’m not sure I can
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