Goodbye, Fear. Good Riddance.

42 comments

Write a goodbye letter to fear.

Start with, “Dear Fear,” and let ‘em have it. Name your fears, tell what you have sacrificed, name its tricks and tactics, list your skills and knowledge, tell it what you’d rather do with your life if it no longer held you back. And then hang it in a place where you can see it, so you can read it everyday until the fear is gone.

Readers, what would you like to say? Dear Fear…..

Here are some responses… 

Dear (or Not So Dear) Fear and Anxiety,

 

You are both the same to me as is Guilt! You have run my life for way to long and I have had enough! I will no longer allow you to set my path in life. You have taken me down into the bowels of Hell and I refuse to live there any longer. You have made me feel worthless, incapable, stupid, un-lovable and I will not tolerate it. Also, you have taken my self-esteem and squashed it. You have made me believe that it is all my fault and don’t deserve anything better but I have discovered that you are a Liar! Everything you put into my head is a lie.

 

Sometimes you whisper and sometimes you scream but they are all lies about me and my place in this universe. I cannot and will not have a relationship with a Liar, someone who sucks the very life out of me! I have been a coward in your presence. And I have let you do with me what you wish. You have hurt me thousands of times and I still allow you in my life. You have kept me down telling me not to try anything new because I will fail. Telling me it’s too late for me to grow, but grow I will! Telling me I am incapable of love! Incapable of handling challenging experiences! Telling me I cannot heal or heal others! Telling me that I am nothing without you! Well No More! I am everything without you!

 

Since I’ve discovered exactly what you are I no longer want you in my life! So Go Away!

Forever!

 

If you insist on returning, each and every time I will send you packing! You cannot be a part of my life anymore. You have done nothing but hurt me over and over again. I will not accept that from anyone, least of all you! No matter what you say, no matter how deep inside me you get I know that I am a worthy, capable and lovable person. And I know that as long as I keep sending you away the less power you will have over me until you wither away to the nothingness that you really are!

 

I refuse to believe your accusations or tolerate your disrespect! It’s Done! No matter what you do, it’s Done. You are no longer welcome in my life!

 

With all the strength of Truth and Love on my side,

James

Goodbye, Fear!

I will not let you limit my experience of life or shrink my hopes and loves.

I will be motivated by joy and self-worth.

Deb

 

Good-bye to fear I say today
As I let love light my way
Fear you tried hard to destroy me..
But as of today love set me free
From all the dark,love brought light
So as of today I set you free
Fear you have no hold on me.
 To all, E.

 

Dear Fear, 
Thank you for the lesson; I’m stronger for it. I’ll remember and greet with you a smile next time. But if you’ll please excuse me for now, I’ve got some living to do!!!!
Luv ya, Catherine

 

James, Deb, E, and Catherine, you rock!

Anyone have more to add? What would you say to Fear if you wrote it a letter? 

 

More resistance letters:

Resisting the Voice of the Eating Disorder

Goodbye, Self Hatred


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42 Comments

Kelly Hashway

Powerful letter! That took guts.
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Jodi Lobozzo Aman

It is encouraging!

Vidya Sury

Love the idea of a goodbye letter to fear – in fact, I guess this will work with almost any negative emotion that holds us back

Thanks for sharing these! Very inspiring.

Hugs! Vidya
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Jodi Lobozzo Aman

You are right. I have used this with many different problems people have.

Leah

Dear Fear,
Nice try, but I’m on to you. The divorce papers are in the mail.
In Power,
L.C.G.
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Jodi Lobozzo Aman

Love it Leah! You got IT!
I love that signature line. “In power.”

Shorya Bist

Hi Jodi,

I cant believe this i missed your invitation to write notes to fear,The concept is really interesting to write a letter to your deepest fear and put to a place where you can see that now and then.Greattt…
The notes are really good and feels so energetic and positive.
I think this will work for me and will help out with some of my fears.

Thanks jodi for sharing this wonderful and outstanding post.

Shorya Bist
From Youthofest

Jodi Lobozzo Aman

Shorya,

Writing can be so powerful in healing. Try it and tell me what happens, thanks!

Nikky44

Dear Fear,

You have been my eternal companion, for as long as I can remember. You were the only one who never abandoned me. You stayed by my side in every step of the way like a faithful lover. I know that life circumstances were always on your favor, which helped you take control of my life. It was wrong to let you win, to let you destroy me, and ruin my relationships.
You appeared in my life in so many different ways: fear of abandonment, fear of love, fear of betrayal, fear of the war, car bombs, blood, death of the ones I love. You taught me to trust no one. You told me that alone was the safest way to be. You wanted me to trust you, and you succeeded.
You are still the winner now, dear fear. I am afraid of showing my kids how big is my love and how proud I am of them. I’m afraid of telling my family how grateful i am to have them in my life. I’m afraid to express my feelings to anyone.I’m afraid of being left alone, of being abandoned again, of losing the ones I love.
You succeeded in turning me against myself, in making me my worst enemy. I am scared of myself. I’m terrified of all the wrong lessons you taught me, of the capacities you developed in me. Yes fear. It’s true that thanks to you, I developed a strong will and a courage that might seem remarkable for some, but you are still in control of those pushing me to use them for you and not against you, convincing me that there is no hope.
It’s been many days that I try to write you a goodbye letter, that I wish I can just get rid of you, but here again you showed me how powerful you are. I’m scared to lose you. It’s silly, but you made me a puppet that might fall without the strings you are holding. You made me fear life.
You took everything from me. I have nothing left to give. I feel empty, worthless and useless. Maybe it’s time to leave me alone now that I’m your useless toy? please let me go….
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Jodi Lobozzo Aman

Nikky,
Once you realize you have the choice, you’ll leave. Fear won’t leave on its own accord, it has to be you. You won’t fall. It is so familiar so it’s scary to heal, but by definition, if you are healed you will not fall. Tell you kids your proud of them and grateful for them. It will be OK. YOu left M and this is much harder. Now you have to emotionally leave them both.
I am with you, xo

Nikky44

I needed to read this again, the post, my letter and your reply. Thank you for saying you’re with me. I know you are and I feel it. I get so lonely sometimes that fear still make me believe I am alone. It still challenges me to think about and do things I know are wrong.

Tina Barbour

A powerful post, and powerful comments. Taking on fear in the form of a letter is courageous, and I applaud all those who did so.
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Jodi Lobozzo Aman

I know you have the courage, too!

Laura Zera

These are powerful letters. I don’t expect that fear will ever leave me. I’ve come to take it as a positive sign that I’m doing something outside my comfort zone, and then work to move through it. In a way, I guess I’ve made friends with fear, which I find easier than trying to banish it from my life.
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Jodi Lobozzo Aman

Then you surely have shapeshifted your fear. Maybe you can call it something else. Like an invitation. <3

Galen Pearl

Very powerful letters. I try to take an approach to fear like the zen story of the young warrior who had to battle fear. She learned that the way to defeat fear is to not do what fear tells you to do. So like Milarepa (another Buddhist story), I would invite fear to tea with respect and courtesy, but not do what fear tells me to do. Then fear will leave of its own accord. Thanks for reading that one letter. Very moving.
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Jodi Lobozzo Aman

Thank you Galen, this is powerful point. Sometimes it is about taming fear. If you make enemies your friends, doesn’t that eliminate enemies?

My inner Chick

Fantastic Letter.

James wrote this letter for many of us who allow fear to control us, consume us, devour us.

You are so gorgeous, Jodi.

thank you for EMPOWERING others. Xx
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Jodi Lobozzo Aman

Thanks Kim, James is a beacon for all of us!

Sapna

HI Jodi,

Brilliant letter!

It is the fear which really holds me back most of the times and prevent me going all out with my skillset.It really sucks the energy and at times gives the stress which is unbearable.

I think your blog name clearly goes with your writing. After reading this I’m surely having a sigh of relief.

Thanks for sharing this.

Sapna

Jodi Lobozzo Aman

Sapna,
I am so glad you found some relief in James’s letter. Don’t let it hold you back. You have great skills and the world needs them!
xoJ

Monica

Jodi, What a great idea to write a letter! Back when my marriage was crumbling, I lived in fear of being alone. For a while I went to great lengths to try to hold on to my loveless marriage. I didn’t write a letter, but thankfully I was able to overcome that fear. I am so much better off today because of it.

I love how you added a video to this post. You have such beautiful eyes!
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Jodi Lobozzo Aman

Thanks, Monica,
But I do know you used writing to help you heal that time, right? I remember seeing it on your blog. Writing can help us so much!
xoJ

Louise Gallagher

What a powerful tool to make room for growth — love it — and that letter is amazing, as is your reading it.

Thanks JOdi — very inspiring!
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Jodi Lobozzo Aman

Thanks Louise, xoJ I hope to do more!

Harleena [email protected] Writer

Wonderful Jodi!

It’s surely a good idea to write such letters that help us overcome our negative emotions – it’s like an outlet. Yes, there was a time I used to do the same with pen and paper, and it does help a great deal to even overcome our fears.

Thanks for sharing. 🙂

Jodi Lobozzo Aman

Thanks Harleenas, making them visible is the first key to overcoming them. They like to lurk in the shadows, and have much more power in evasiveness.
xoJ

solidgoldcreativity

Love the video, Jodi, esp the funny face at the end 🙂 What a powerful exercise about our crappy old companion.
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Jodi Lobozzo Aman

Thanks Narelle, I am glad you liked the funny face!
xoJ

brenda

Youwser! Strong letter with a powerful punch. Glad to see you writing letters to the universe or the inner self. Nothing feels better than peeling back the layers and letting it all fall out.
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Jodi Lobozzo Aman

It’s what we gots to do!
xoJ

Ken Redeker

Goodbye OCD
Dear OCD I will no longer let you bully me. This has gone on way too long. You started taunting me when I was only 14, and you are still here 38 years later. You made me listen to you when I was in high school, and I believed what you said. You told me to check things over and over, and I did. You promised it would get rid of the anxiety. But my anxiety only went away for a short time, and you guaranteed if I checked just one more time it would really go away. Well I kept checking, and you kept shouting at me that just one more time would be the last time, and I would be happy again.

Well, you tricked me. As a result, I ended up in the hospital four times before I was an adult. You are cunning and devious, and a liar. I told myself that I will never let you do that to me again. However, you kept trying, but I never let you push me that far again. You have come painfully close to shoving me off that cliff into that dark abyss many times, but I won’t let you. You are like a leach on my shoulder that whispers lies into my ear, and always promising to remove my anxiety if I just check one more time. But you have never once delivered on your endless promises.

For two decades you robbed me of a social life. You made it so I couldn’t finish college. You told me I will never have a girlfriend, a wife, or a family. But I have proven you wrong on the girlfriend, and I’ve got a wonderful social life now, and I will never let you take those precious things from me again.
However, I know that you will never truly leave, but I don’t have to listen to you. I can decide not to believe you. I no longer fear you, because I have discovered what renders you powerless. I know your weakness.

Twenty years ago, I began exploring caves. Caving destroyed you. You were not able to compete with the thrill of exploring extraordinary underground worlds. For the first time I was free from your painful control. Then I quit drinking seventeen years ago and I robbed you of your precious fuel that ignited my OCD like a flame on gasoline. After I gave up alcohol, I got an OCD therapist, and she taught me the power of ignoring you. Yet you still returned and sometimes struck me terribly hard, and each time you knocked me down I stood up again ready to fight and I grew stronger. I was no longer afraid to tell my friends about you, and they wanted to help me defeat you.

I no longer stand alone against you. I have allies. I have an army, and you will never invade my mind again.

Jodi Lobozzo Aman

Thanks Ken, I read your letter on my latest video, I will send you a link when it is live.
xoJ

northforkmom

Dear Fear,
You’ve been kicking me down ever since I was born. Your latest kick involves having violent flash backs while sleeping & waking up in terror. I now am afraid to sleep. You have no right to do this to me. You’ve taken so much from me & now you want my sleep too. You have had me down a dark hole my whole life. Whenever I try to climb out, you throw some more dirt on me & push me down again. I have been too weak & afraid to fight back. I want things to change around here. You control so much of my life. I want you to go away. I don’t want to be afraid anymore.

Jodi Lobozzo Aman

Mary,
Fantastic, taking this position against your fear. It is a powerful first step! Just saying what you want, instead of cowering. The shift will begin. It may be a long or a short road but you have started walking. Now it is time for some actions steps!
I believe in you!
xoJ

Beverly Diehl

Dear Fear:

For a long time your various disguises had me fooled. “Common sense” and “being reasonable” would hold me back from daring something new. “Anger” and “resentment” would keep me from feeling you.

I won’t ban you from my life; you too have a place among all my other emotions. But you are not the boss of me, and I won’t let you take over in the name of “keeping me safe.”
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Jodi Lobozzo Aman

It is not the boos of you. You go girl!

Positive, Present Tense, Repetition, High Emotion | Heal Now and Forever

[…] knowledges, identities, and/or values helps us step into them and helps us sustain them. (i.e. Write a goodbye letter to your problem. And read it over and […]

elaine

Not so Dear fear, and anxiety and PTSD and any other label I have used.

For almost 2 years you have been with me every day from the time I open my eyes. You make me unsure of whether I should get out of bed because I do not feel safe there or stay in bed becasue it is too scary out of it. Each moment I am awake you are there telling me I cannot do everyday things, like clean my home, wash my hair, cook my meals, eat, go out and play, have fun, visit friends, visit my family, teach, go to concerts which I always loved so much, work in my garden, cut the grass, plant my flowers, enjoy the beach and the sun, eat out and much more. You have stolen my life, you are a thief and a liar and I cannot tolerate this any more.
I have to dig so deep inside to get through every second of every day because you are always there inside of me telling me that I am ill and cannot go on without you. Mindfulness helps me at times but you always creep back as soon as I am not meditating, it is time that I threw you out with the trash, you have trashed my life so that is where you belong. I will no longer allow you to be in charge of me, I know this is not going to be easy because you are very clever and make me believe you. You know I live alone and do not have a lot of support to help me get rid of you BUT your time is up, it is time you left me alone and it is time I get back and live my life the way that I want to, happily, feeling secure, enjoying friends and family.
I am giving you a passport out of here, I stamped it and send you on your way …far away from me…. I think you may try to come back but I will always stamp your passport and send you on your way over and over until you get the message, you are not welcome here any more. Leave me alone, nothing should ever treat me the way you have treated me, you hurt me and never did anything to make me feel good, GO AWAY.

sincerely, Elaine

Patti

Good bye you aweful life sucker, fear!
You keep me paralyzed in bed with my mind racing with horrible thoughts about how terrible I am and how everything I’m doing is a mistake and every move I make is the wrong and how I will never be good enough or deserve to be in this world. You keep me afraid of what other people think of me and that I should hide and that I need to be hiding in the shadows instead of out in the light.
I need to let you go. I am in prison with you I need to fill the space you live in with God and love. It’s new but I can do it I will allow God to Direct my day instead of you. I banish you from my kingdom and invite pure love into My space. I will be filled with ecstasy joy an expansion in love instead of you,the dark, small paralyzing creature that you are.
Leave me the fuck alone!!!! Go away forever!

elaine

well after writing the letter above my anxiety has become even stronger. any advice? elaine

Jodi Aman

Elaine, What is Anxiety saying to you since you’ve written this letter? Odds are it is panicked that it has to leave you and trying to up the ante. Let me know what it is trying to convince you now?


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