Don’t Jump Ahead of Yourself, Just Be

Did you ever feel ahead of yourself? Worried that you just can’t be because then you might not get better. DO you worry that you can’t figure out how to love yourself, that you can’t see what others see, that it is just not accessible to you? Did you ever worry that you did not know what to do to make yourself feel better, which direction to go, and how to get there? All the while desperate to go, but hopeless that you’ll be unable to? Scared that you are not skilled enough to handle it, frustrated that you always mess up, so why bother trying? Then feel an all-encompassing anxiety about this lack of achievement?

just be you You're worthy and amazing

Did you ever feel that love, calm, and happiness was not accessible to you? And might never be accessible? And because it is so devastating, you become completely panicked day after day, wonder if you can handle another moment of it, deeply desiring to get in your car and drive and drive so you never have to come back and face all of this?

I have. And I was jumping ahead of myself.

So focused on the outcome and how out of reach it is, I was completely out of touch with the present moment. This is not a judgment of me; it is an invitation to awareness. I hope to remove this block to healing pronto!

Just Be

This is what I want to remember:

You don’t have to know anything.

You don’t have to do anything, or try too hard.

And, you don’t have to figure out anything.

There is nothing to learn.

Nothing to accomplish.

No place to go.

You just have be. Right here. Right now. Suspended away from any negative story.

Close your eyes and float inside your body.

When you find out that there is nothing, you will open to everything.

Just be, just be, just be….

Stop Judging

It is only when we stop our judgment–stop trying to be something we think is right–that we allow ourselves the compassion that frees us. I can practice compassion by blessing all my toes, my feet, my legs. Bless my reproductive organs and what they have done for the world–created life. I bless my organs and skin and soft belly, my core of being, my heart, my lungs, the air I breathe. I bless the arms I hold and share with, and I bless my mind that thinks what it thinks. Also, I bless all that is what it is. Each is whole, yet each part of the whole. Nothing to judge, nothing different than the next. I can rest in the simplicity, stop fighting, stop trying.

Just know. | Forgive. | Trust.

This post is a touchstone for a client who asked to remember these things this week. Do you have any messages to share with him?  He will be reading it anonymously.

Please leave him an encouraging message below. 

36 thoughts on “Don’t Jump Ahead of Yourself, Just Be”

  1. I was there and still go there sometimes, but what “saved” me was to find love in friendship, and that happened less than a year ago. I would tell him that only beautiful souls can feel the way he does,be so delicate and longing to be so perfect, but I found out it wasn’t necessary, because there are other beautiful souls who love us just the way we are now with all the “imperfections” we might have. I also found out that longing to be perfect all the time can isolate me from others because perfection does not exist and at the same time it is everywhere. I discovered that perfection is just by being true to myself, true to who I am. As long as I accept myself I am perfect the way i was created to be. It’s not easy yet for me to love myself, but i am learning to at least love the person my friends see in me, since I trust them. I trust them and I know that if they love me, it means I am lovable. I try to surround myself with those people who love me the way i am with all my imperfections, and I invite him to do the same.
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    1. Jodi Lobozzo Aman

      I love this “I would tell him that only beautiful souls can feel the way he does, be so delicate, and longing to be so perfect.” I could never have said it so well! This was a beautiful response. Thank you!

    1. Jodi Lobozzo Aman

      Thanks, Laura! I am glad to lift your heavy weight off. Isn’t it great to know we can drop the expectations?

  2. I hope your client finds as much comfort in your words as I just did Jodi.
    Brings to mind a quote by Josh Pais.

    “Be here now.
    Be someplace else later.
    Is that so complicated?”

  3. What a wonderful post!

    Like many people, I pop in and out of the present. I used to experience that sense of panic and hopelessness, and I know how painful that can be. I still have moments of agitation, but I come back to the breath and the present moment, and I can let go. These days, my life feels very different, much more joyful.

    When I’m really struggling, I pull out an essay from The Artist’s Way by Julia Cameron about how “in the present moment, we are all, always, all right.” It always brings me back to a place of peace. Jodi, your post ranks right up there with Cameron’s. Lovely.
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    1. Jodi Lobozzo Aman

      Oh, my , thank you so much. I guess I have to write from the heart more often. Thanks Nadine, so kind of you to give such a generous compliment!

    1. Jodi Lobozzo Aman

      Tina, That is beautifully said and I am sure beautifully performed. The moment has all our answers, I am convinced! If only we could stay there!

  4. Jodi, when I saw the picture of the baby elephant reaching out to the kitten, I exclaimed “awwwwwww”. When I read the quote on the picture, the first person who came to mind was you. You reach out to others with such with love and heart. Another thing that’s really interesting about that photo is that it has Kiran Shaikh’s name on it. I don’t know who that is but I do know that Kiran means “a ray of light.” So to Jodi’s client, keep reaching for the light and remember that What Goes Up Must Come Down. I think that for every moment of darkness a person experiences there will be an equal or greater amount of light experienced too. It may take time, but it is SO worth the wait. = )

  5. Wow! That’s exactly how I feel sometimes. Lately oftentimes. Yes, I’m often off in the future or the past and when I manage to regain my sense of presence in the moment and rid myself of my “shoulds”, I feel peace once again. Good luck brother

    1. Jodi Lobozzo Aman

      Thanks Daniel. Should are such a pain. I wish we as a race could get rid of them forever! This is my plan.

  6. I’ve carried this quote from St. Francis de Sales in my wallet for at least 10 years

    “Have patience with all things but first with yourself. Never confuse your mistakes with your value as a human being. You’re a perfectly valuable, creative, worthwhile person simply because you exists. And no amount of triumphs or tribulations can ever change that. Unconditional self-acceptance is the core of a peaceful mind.”

    1. Jodi Lobozzo Aman

      Bridget, If I knew that quote I would carry it around to, actually now that I do, I will! Thank you. I am sure it will bring him solace as it does you and me!

  7. It’s so easy to get caught up in the rat race of “I must DO, PERFORM, ACCOMPLISH.” It’s good to have goals, but I have learned all the time that I must be careful to keep from transforming pleasures and happy goals into some kind of pressured drudgery. So that if I *don’t* [fill in the blank] I am somehow less worthy or inadequate.

    We are always worthy, just because we ARE.
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  8. I have been there too Jodi and I really love your statements, there is nothing to do, just Be.
    Sometime it’s so difficult to Just Be but it’s the key.
    Very inspiring sharing!

  9. Thank you all who responded to this post! You comments have been very helpful and inspiring! The picture at the top of the post is how I have felt for so long it has seemed that is normal. I am learning to “just be” slowly but surely but so often get burdened down with the old ways and they overwhelm me. Thank you again for your wonderful, thoughtful comments. I for one really appreciate them! …Jodi’s client

  10. Thanks for your thoughts. They are helping me keep panic and anxiety under control and I will keep them near by to call upon when the panic/anxiety (usually strongly allied with self-doubt) attempt another takeover.

  11. I have this piece of writing on my desk and look at it frequently during the day so thank you for this reminder that being is as important if not more so than doing.

  12. Thank you Jodi for reminding me of this post. What I read seems obvious. I was even surprised by my answer, my comment. Things are much easier said than done.

      1. it means that following my own advise is hard. making promises is easy, deciding is easy, wanting something is easy, then “bang” something happens that pushes you ways back, not even to square one but even behind because you dared to hope and believe things will means that it is easier to see other’s worth than your own worth, other’s abilities whereas you see yourself as useless and worthless.that sometimes it’s better to stop dreaming and just keep your thoughts for yourself rather than be disappointed and disappoint others

        1. Jodi Lobozzo Aman

          I am confused. This sounds like negative, deflated, hopeless, shameful Nikky. Something must have happened since hearing from you the day before yesterday.

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