Did you ever feel ahead of yourself? Worried that you just can’t be because then you might not get better. DO you worry that you can’t figure out how to love yourself, that you can’t see what others see, that it is just not accessible to you? Did you ever worry that you did not know what to do to make yourself feel better, which direction to go, and how to get there? All the while desperate to go, but hopeless that you’ll be unable to? Scared that you are not skilled enough to handle it, frustrated that you always mess up, so why bother trying? Then feel an all-encompassing anxiety about this lack of achievement?
Did you ever feel that love, calm, and happiness was not accessible to you? And might never be accessible? And because it is so devastating, you become completely panicked day after day, wonder if you can handle another moment of it, deeply desiring to get in your car and drive and drive so you never have to come back and face all of this?
I have. And I was jumping ahead of myself.
So focused on the outcome and how out of reach it is, I was completely out of touch with the present moment. This is not a judgment of me; it is an invitation to awareness. I hope to remove this block to healing pronto!
This is what I want to remember:
You don’t have to know anything.
You don’t have to do anything, or try too hard.
And, you don’t have to figure out anything.
There is nothing to learn.
Nothing to accomplish.
No place to go.
You just have be. Right here. Right now. Suspended away from any negative story.
Close your eyes and float inside your body.
When you find out that there is nothing, you will open to everything.
Just be, just be, just be….
It is only when we stop our judgment–stop trying to be something we think is right–that we allow ourselves the compassion that frees us. I can practice compassion by blessing all my toes, my feet, my legs. Bless my reproductive organs and what they have done for the world–created life. I bless my organs and skin and soft belly, my core of being, my heart, my lungs, the air I breathe. I bless the arms I hold and share with, and I bless my mind that thinks what it thinks. Also, I bless all that is what it is. Each is whole, yet each part of the whole. Nothing to judge, nothing different than the next. I can rest in the simplicity, stop fighting, stop trying.
Just know. | Forgive. | Trust.
This post is a touchstone for a client who asked to remember these things this week. Do you have any messages to share with him? He will be reading it anonymously.
Please leave him an encouraging message below.