Everything Belongs, Everyone Belongs

*Everything Belongs by Richard Rohr is an excellent read. He says that everything is divine. Everything, equally.

When I said Friday to include everyone, I really meant INCLUDE EVERYONE. Not “leave some people out.”

If we are all connected, then what hurts someone else, hurts all of us. Being left out hurts. It is lonely. If people in power are afraid of losing their power and this fear creates an “us-them” mentality. To have an “us” that is OK, they think they need to have a “them” that is not. This always excludes some one.

everything belongs ease trauma with love

On the other hand I believe that everything belongs. Everyone is OK and no one is not OK. Equality is about connection. When we chose connection over separation, we expand ourselves. If we see good in others, we see the good in ourselves reflected back.

Of all things in the world, LOVE ought not to have boundaries. Love can take us to new heights we would never get to otherwise.

Love is belonging. Everyone deserves to belong.

“You can put truth in a grave, but it won’t stay there.”  ~Clarence W. Hall

The question of Vulnerability

In Dennis Hollingsworth’s defense last Tuesday in the Supreme Court (according to his website Protectmarriage.com) stated that persons who are same sex attracted are not vulnerable and have no need of government protection.

Maybe he has never felt left out.

People get married to have a witness to their lives. We are only a self in relationship. So that witness means everything. Denying someone’s right to marriage is denying them their very selves. I’d say this makes people vulnerable.

Last week I was moved by many things. One was that McQuaid Jesuit High School here in Rochester, publicly allowed two boys attend the Junior Ball together.

I would like to let a ray of light enter into the darkness of fear. I, together with the United States Conference of Catholic Bishops, who in their Pastoral Message, “Always Our Children,” “. . . call on all Christians and citizens of good will to confront their own fears about homosexuality and to curb the humor and discrimination that offend homosexual persons.” Fr. Salmon

Local news website Rochesterhomepage.net published the full letter.

We all have fears that keep us separate from others. Mostly because we fear we are undeserving. Sometimes this is clear, but other times is masquerades as us thinking other people aren’t deserving. If we stopped judging ourselves so much, then we would stop judging others.

Where do you all stand on the issues of inclusion? 

43 thoughts on “Everything Belongs, Everyone Belongs”

    1. Jodi Lobozzo Aman

      Thanks Eric, so glad to welcome you to my blog! I wish we all felt the same way, but it can start with us! i think I preach to the choir on this blog!

  1. This is a topic I’ve been exploring a lot lately. I love your post! When we see the universal “one”-ness, that means you see that there are people in your experience who may be “harder to love”. It is difficult (but not impossible) for me to love the people in my experience who hate or judge. However, if I hate or judge them then I am judging myself, because we are all one! And the point is not to be better or worse than one another. It sounds complex, but it is simple when then judgement is removed from your awareness. I can send love to a person with whom I do not resonate with, with the understanding that they are showing me an experience I do not want to have, and I love them for that. It is difficult in our society to not take sides. But in true one-ness, there are no sides. Great topic! Thanks!
    Amy Colburn recently posted..An Afternoon in VeniceMy Profile

    1. Jodi Lobozzo Aman

      Thanks Amy,
      I agree with you wholeheartedly, and it is really quite simple. No judgment. Just awareness. i think its our resistence that makes it complex. What do you think?

  2. Harleena Singh@Freelance Writer

    Hi Jodi,

    You are so right when you say that we are no one to judge others, and if we stop judging ourselves and being so hard – we would stop judging others. We are really no one to judge others, just no one.

    Every single person deserves to belong and do or feel as they feel like – without us being judgmental about their decision. Hope more people would understand this simple fact and just let them be.

    Thanks for sharing this. Have a nice week ahead 🙂

  3. I don’t enjoy eating liver, nor do many other people, but how ridiculous would it be if we wanted laws FORBIDDING other people to eat liver?

    Love is love. I have always felt that (as an ideal, anyway) we are attracted to the soul and spirit of the person we love, not so much the wrapper. Fat, thin, male, female, light-skinned, dark-skinned, able or differently able, something in us calls out to and connects to that spark, that soul in another person. I’d like to believe that if I was attracted to someone who didn’t fit the mold of what I was supposed to want in a partner, who wasn’t the “right” religion or gender or age or shape, I would honor love anyway.

    There is no good reason I have heard why consenting adults should not be allowed to honor love through marriage.
    Beverly Diehl recently posted..Slut of the Month: Anaïs NinMy Profile

    1. I happen to love liver. (Well, when it is prepared well.) But your analogy is spot-on. And it reminded me that in my UofP Anthropology class, we learned of an African tribe (I forget which one, it WAS 40 years ago, after all) which believed that LOVE resides in the liver, and not in the heart, as so many other cultures believe. There was some laughter in the class, and I raised my hand and asked, “What is so funny? Love no more resides in the heart than in the liver!” My classmates stopped giggling. I felt the silence needed to be filled, so I added, “Most of my friends act as though they believe love resides somewhere around the groin, considering that is the place they receive their first signal that love might be happening.” People laughed, but I was thereafter known as “the groin guy” to classmates who didn’t know my name. Thank you for stimulating (pun intended) that memory.
      All my best,
      Dave, aka “the groin guy.” 😉

      1. Jodi Lobozzo Aman

        Dave, I love your story! So funny! You were a thoughtful young man. Ready to question our taken for granted assumptions. We need people to losen us up, I think! Bravo!

  4. Kudos to the McQuaid School vis a vis the boys who attended the dance together. It is so important for young people to feel supported by the adults in their lives. Schools must enforce inclusion of every kind.

    One couple’s love, regardless of the partners’ genders should be supported and celebrated, as it never threatens anyone else’s relationship. Anyone who does feel threatened might need to examine his/her own biases.
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    1. Jodi Lobozzo Aman

      I do wish we could all be introspective and look at our own stuff instead of blaming others. The world is shifting, so maybe this will continue to spread!

  5. Another brilliant, insightful post Jodi. I agree with you that everyone should be included. I know how it feels to be left out, & it is very hurtful, isolating & damaging. The story about the 2 boys attending the Junior Ball made the papers here on Long Island & it made me smile. Right now an internal battle is going on inside myself regarding my marriage. Should I stay or should I go? Should I choose to see the good or does the bad out weigh the good? When you said, “When we chose connection over separation, we expand ourselves. If we see good in others, we see the good in ourselves reflected back.” It really hit home with me. My situation is so confusing, has so many separate issues & I just want to do the right thing, but I don’t know what that is. Should I stay & help what I thought was my best friend, or is the damage too great at this point? I don’t want to be the one who leaves & gives up the connection. Even though I have been unbearably hurt, I don’t want to hurt back. It is looking as though this is what I’m going to have to do & it’s killing me inside.

    1. Jodi Lobozzo Aman

      There is a difference between chosing connection and being responsible for someone who does not take respinsibility for himself. You can leave the toxic environment, but still send him kind thoughts for him to make better choices in his life. In a way, he may not be able to heal staying in that environment when you protect him by allowing him to abuse you. You also have responsibity to the girls to get them out of there. Leaving doesn’t mean disconnection in the way I am using it. Leaving can mean connection in a bigger way for you. Connection to a different community who loves you, or connection to your self worth. Staying just isolates you and this is the opposite. I am sorry you lost your best friend, but I assume you lost him long ago. Plus what he is doing is criminal. Mary, you will find the strength!

  6. Good post Jodi.

    I always try not to judge anybody, we are all different but we are all the same. We all have weaknesses and strengths. We all get things right and we all make mistakes.

    If I meet a couple then who am I to judge if they are male & female, two males or two females, what the hell difference does it make as long as they are happy together.

    People have always tried since time immemorial to put others into convenient boxes, we are all human beings and the most important thing we can give to another human is the gift of love and have that gift returned. Everything else is immaterial.

    Those are my thoughts for what they are worth.

  7. To be honest, I can’t believe that same-sex marriage remains an issue for discussion and contention. Love is love is love and when you experience love, for anyone – you understand the connection that exists between everyone.

    I am fascinated by the differences in human behaviour but way more interested in our ‘sameness’.

  8. This topic is running through many of the blogs I have read lately, which is fantastic. I think the sooner we realize that including everyone makes us all richer and more dynamic, then the sooner we will stop discriminating and bullying. Nice post.

  9. Jodi, I agree. I feel change coming and I am hopeful the Supreme Court will make the right decision. California has a lot at stake with Prop 8 and if it’s defeated, and gay marriage allowed, then the rest of the nation will fall like dominoes. California is usually a leader in these things and it was a stunning blog when Prop 8 passed, so I’m hoping this is made right soon.
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  10. Hi Jodi,

    Another excellent post.

    Your post got me thinking about fear and separation. When we become insecure, our ego has been activated and we experience fear. We compare ourselves to others. However, when we hold onto the belief that we are all one, one can experience a profound change in state. Our worries lessen because we know we are the same as others.

    Thank you.
    Hiten recently posted..Leadership Qualities and How to Develop ThemMy Profile

  11. Thank you Jodi and everyone for supporting what I’ve been hoping for, for over 35 years. I’m no different than anyone else who loves another from the heart and wants to celebrate that throughout our lifetime.
    Peace and hope for equality.

  12. Oh I love this! And I love the Jesuit High School for stepping up. I think if we all stood on the side of love, the world would be a much better place.

  13. Hi Jodi,

    Excellent!

    It all starts when person starts getting some success and start judging himself – that he is the best. Based on that he start judging others comparing other personalities with himself, the result – he start loosing connections, aloof himself, goes in depression, realizes the reasons and then try to learn the importance of connections.

    Thanks Jodi, for this heavy one.

    Sapna

    1. Jodi Lobozzo Aman

      Sapna,
      When you have power or success, you have more to lose. It makes one more competitive and separates. Thanks for coming over and reading!

  14. Thank you for tackling a tough issue (and for explaining what that Facebook profile picture means)! I don’t think it is my place to judge, especially in matters of love. How can a desire to make a commitment to love someone be bad? Like another commenter said, inclusion is preferable over exclusion. I support whatever keeps our hearts and spirits open rather than closed.
    Galen Pearl recently posted..Thin PlacesMy Profile

  15. Rebekah Shakcney

    I couldn’t agree more, Jodi! I’ve always been a proponent of inclusion and fairness! Everyone deserves to be treated with love and respect. Let’s hope we continue to move in that direction as a nation.

    1. Jodi Lobozzo Aman

      I agree Rebekah, and welcome to Heal Now and Forever by the way! Fairness is a stickler for me. Things are only fair in the big picture. I think we have to strive to be as fair as we can in terms of respecting people, but not expect fairness. Fairness sometimes invites us to see what we are lacking and demand it or complain it’s when not. What do you think?

  16. I have always felt excluded: in family, at home, at school, at work, everywhere. It’s only in the last 2 years that I started to feel accepted as I am. I was excluded because I was different, not really “a follower”. I needed explanations, understanding. It was hard for me to do things that don’t seem right to me, but I did, just to feel included. It doesn’t work this way. Now I know.
    Nikky44 recently posted..Guest post: An open blessingMy Profile

    1. Jodi Lobozzo Aman

      Maybe also you felt discluded, but everyone saw you differently. Other people may have thought of you as included, but you saw the opposite. Now you are seeing clearer. Yay!

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