How do I transcend fear? Two things to keep in mind:
Fear often has us feeling very alone. If we have experienced trauma in our life, this sense of vulnerability multiplies to a panic. Some of us isolate ourselves, which only makes the situation worse. Others feel an intense need to be around someone who loves them and cares.
This feels like a protection against what might harm them and helps them feel not quite so alone. I always side on connection being the best counter to anxiety. Staying home, alone, stationary is the worst thing you can do. Being around people, feeling connected to them and to the world around you, fortifies you with a sense of purpose and belonging. This counters fear as it goes against what the trauma made you feel like: unworthy and useless.
Sometimes while are healing, we are bringing to surface some old feelings that have been buried deep by skills of survival when we were going through a difficult situation. At times, it is important to see these feelings so that we can let them go, difficult as that might be. It is important to feel them fully so that we can process them, but it is less re-traumatizing if we did that without the story. We suffer much more from the story than from the actual feelings.
Let me explain. The story tells us what happen is our fault, that we are still vulnerable, that we deserved whatever, that we are useless, the world is pointless. It is where we judge ourselves, become angry at the injustice, lament what we lost, get frustrated that we can just “get over it.” Anytime I help people feel the feeling, suspending this mind chatter- this story about the problem- it feels much easier to manage the feeling, and 99% of the time, they come to a place of peace quite quickly. See meditations Day 4: Two Minutes to Peace if you want to try it.
Transcend fear instead of running away from it
Running away from fear, actually gives it power. When you let fear know you are afraid, it preys off this vulnerability. Standing strong like Truman in the The Truman Show, when he is terrified of water and they sic a storm on him. He sticks with it and says, “Is that the best you can do?” He is saying that I am not afraid of you. They intensify the storm in attempts to control Truman, but instead he becomes more empowered. The storm ends. The director has no more power and acquiesces to Truman, allowing him to be free. Fear will do the same. If we asked fear is that the best you can do, it would fizzle out. It has no power unless you are afraid of it. Face it, feel it, watch it pass.
You are not alone
None of us are really alone. Even if we feel alone physically, there are people in the world that care about us. But there are also people in the spirit world that care about us, love us more than we can imagine. The Holy Spirit, God, Saints, our spirit guides, teachers, angels, ancestors, loved ones who have passed away are always available to call on when we need them.
When I feel most afraid, I imagine them gathered around me, putting a force field of light to protect me from any harm. I call this a spiritual restraining order. We can do it anytime,wherever we are. We can even do this for someone we love, whether they be near or far. Skeptical? Check out: Of course it is happening inside your head, but that doesn’t mean it is not real. If you don’t believe in these entities, you can put a force field around yourself.
The other meditation imagery I like to use is the igloo. Imagine an igloo around yourself, filled with light, warmth, and joy. You are safe, calm and happy in there. The outside of the igloo is covered with mirrors. Anything that might harm you, be they memories, or bullies or scary images will just bounce right off. You can put the igloo around yourself, or a room or even your whole house!