Relationships take work to sustain. There are ups and downs. The ups sail along nicely. But the downs? They can really kick you in the butt. They make you really wonder, Does he love me? (Or she.)
Any sign of trouble* can raise your insecurity to a devastating level.
Or… sometimes it is your insecurity that is the problem in the first place. See, insecurity is epidemic in this culture that supports ‘the best man wins.”
It affects every part of our lives. Especially our relationships.
Feeling insecure is like being constantly beaten with a stick. When you are down, you just get beat harder.
These three reasons may be why you wonder does he love me.
1. You think that you are unworthy.
You wonder if you are pretty enough or smart enough, so how can someone love you?
2. Your mind is parked in the past.
Nasty voices from the past still have residence in your mind. You look at these as evidence that no one could love you. Maybe someone told you that, or maybe someone left you. Either way you have concluded that something must be wrong with you.
3. You are afraid.
It is scary trusting that you are loved because what if you are wrong?
Feeling insecure makes us do funky things in a relationship. We might isolate ourself, hold back our hearts, or accuse the other person of not loving us.
Beth did all three of these things when she felt her boyfriend didn’t love her. In trying to protect her heart, she was pulling away. And she felt worse and worse.
I’m going to tell you what I told her.
The best tip in getting more love when you are insecure in a relationship.
Love is as healing when it’s given as when it’s received. Give what you most desire.
When you think Does he love me?, you are feeling insecure.
Make your loved one feel special. In a mutual relationship, they will respond in kind.
Don’t do it just so it comes back though. People could see right through that. Let the other person know how you feel because that alone feels good. Even in the giving you can feel more connected and thus more secure.
Sweet nothings coming back to you is a bonus. You’ll no longer wonder does he love you
Also, remember, it is better to ask for what you want instead of complaining.
*If your partner is abusive or demeaning, don’t blame yourself and your insecurity. Get some support quickly.
Have you ever tried this? What happened?