This saves lives. Believe me. Especially yours. Do this:
Love people up instead of worrying down.
We are human. And we love people. When we see people suffering, it triggers our mirror neurons to feel that suffering, too.
There is something to be said about solidarity. Standing with others in their pain helps them not feel so alone.
However, after a bit it might not be as helpful. To them, or to you.
Implicit in your worry is love and caring. This is beautiful.
What if we stayed with that love and caring but got rid of the worry?
This is the thing.
If that worry actually helped the other person feel better then maybe it would be worth it.
But it doesn’t.
This is what happens to the people going through a hard time: At first they feel people’s worry and feel validated and visible. Then, their own mirror neurons register this and their despair increases.
They think, “Oh there is really something to worry about. Nobody else has much hope for me. I must be fooling myself to think I can get through this.” Or even, “I’m right to feel this bad.” This can all be very subtle and on the energetic level. But if nobody has faith in them, this could make them feel invisible again.
People can get stuck in this hopelessness and doubt. They can become a victim of it. And that is the last thing we want for them.
On the other hand, if we love them up to us, this means that we believe in them. We see the skills and knowledges that they have to get through it. We are seeing them despite their pain.
It’s the “I see you.” from the movie Avatar. I see the real you.
This can save their lives. Literally.
We can acknowledge their skills allowed. Because we hold this confidence in them, their mirror neurons can register that confidence and they have more connection and access to those skills. They will step into them more fully and this will infuse strength in them to get through their hard time.
And they will feel good about themselves in the process.
This is a win-win situation like no other. You feel great, too. Not only that you actually helped them, but because it is inspiring to have faith in people. When you have faith in people to get through their hard time, you have faith in anyone getting through hard times. You can see the world differently.
This is how I stay so positive while hearing horrible stories of people’s suffering sometimes ten hours a day. I hear their skills and I am inspired by them. I reflect this light back to them. And that’s why people usually feel better when they leave my office then when they got there.
I love people up to me instead of worrying down to them.
I don’t neglect the negative. I hold it, too. I listen and allow it fully. That is important. But I don’t take it into my being. Maybe I would if it would help them, but I know that it doesn’t.
Did you ever try to love someone up to you instead of worrying down to them?