Why you can’t find your talent and how you can

41 comments

Find your talent!

you are enough just as you are

Here’s the thing. We all think that we are not good enough.

All of us.

Why is that?

Because there are big, huge expectations in our culture to be better-than-best, and perfect, and beautiful ,and thin and successful, and, and, and…

It is as if we are not the Olympic athlete at you-name-it, then we are not good enough. It’s either THE best or failure. Anyone hear me?

These crazy expectations blind us back from the wonder and joy of developing the person that we want to be in the world. They have you so full of self doubt that you think you can’t find your talent!

These expectations discredit your talents and skills so you think you don’t have any.

We don’t have to be the best. There are way too many people on earth for this to even make sense.

We just have to be allowed.

The more you say, “I am not good at anything.” The more you will believe that this is the unwavering truth about you (even though it is the biggest crock of doo-doo ever).

If you think that you are not good at anything, how can you find your talent?

Listen.

Everyone is good at something!

Time to take the blinders off. And see what you are good at.

It is only when we crawl away from being under the weight of self judgment, that we can impact the world in the way we are meant to.

Remember: Small ways are just as important as big ways!

Me, too.

Many of you know that I have been attempting to write and record videos for a few years, but have been hiding behind my own fear that I am not talented enough yet for this format.

Confident in my question-answering-ability, since this is my forte during workshops and in counseling sessions, I wanted to take this skill to a wider audience. I’ve been literally working on this for two years and am finally just allowing myself to do it at the level I am.

It is only when I let go of this, I was able to really practice in a way that helped me improve.

Hope you like it. 😉

In today’s episode, I tackle a reader’s question about how to find his talent, sent in to me by Jude.

He writes:

Hi Jodi,
I am indeed privileged to be in your mailing list. Thank you.
Do me a favour…how can I find and know my talent?
Best regards
Jude

This one is for you Jude.

How to Find your Talents and Strengths

(The intro/outro music is Spin by Michael J)

So what did you think?

Here’s what I want you to think about right now:

Think about a talent you have that you didn’t know you had until someone pointed it out to you.

Please share it in the comment sections below because I want to know about it. The more you shout your talents out to the world, the more you will take them into your own heart.

And as always, your stories are sure to inspire others.

What is a talent that you didn’t know you had until someone pointed it out to you?

anxiety test prompt


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41 Comments

Joshua Lambert

The talent I have that I was unaware of is the ability to connect people. This seems to manifest it self both in my personal and professional life. Although it was discovered while building a business and bringing together a group of like business owners in a fashion that many didn’t think was possible, , it also happens in regular life situations. What this talent ultimately translates into is being a channel and we all have this ability. Have you ever felt like you are operating under the controls of the universe and not free will? When you intuitively recognize something about what someone is explaining to you, and you may feel that connecting them with some person, place, or thing may be a piece of the puzzle. Then in hind sight you have know idea where you pulled that info from. Anyway, I see this as a gift and a talent and didn’t realize it until people began pointing it out. Thanks for helping me recognize my talents Jodi and then allowing me to share them confidently with the world…Look forward to hearing more people tell us about their’s.

Jodi Aman

You are going to do great things and help many people!

Chris

Big, big gentle hugs to you Jodi. You really help keep me going. Thank you so much for the gift of YOU.

Jodi Aman

Hugs right back! Thanks so much Chris for being here. Obviously one of your talents is showing gratitude! <3

Tina Fariss Barbour

I loved this, Jodi–it was so nice to hear your laugh! 🙂

I never knew I was a “good listener” until my friends during my teen and young adult years told me I was. I remember being quite surprised at hearing that. Wasn’t everyone a good listener, I thought? I’ve come to value this ability/talent I have to tune in to others and empathize with them.
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Jodi Aman

Good listener is actually quite unique, hope you have come to realize that. I wish that more people had it.

Balroop Singh

Hi Jodi,

This video is truly fantastic…saw you laugh and it is as sweet as your smile, which goes straight into my heart…so magnetic! loved it! I can understand your popularity as a youngster could be associated with that welcoming smile. When somebody tells us we are good at something, we have to prove…yes, we are!!

I agree, we all have more than just one talent but it is often suppressed by the demands made by the parents, the peer group and the society. Their expectations become so burdensome that we become what they want us to, almost stifling the real us! Many dreams remain in the pipeline, many desires are suppressed as they lack approval…and the talent? who cares, we start feeling!

Yes, we do realise that we possess so much which keeps on lying dormant till we grow up, till somebody points it out to us…oh! how I wish we could have known it at the right time. I didn’t know I could write well, I didn’t know I could make friends, [being an introvert] I didn’t know I had some special qualities which people admire, till some of my students, who had the courage to pass on this compliment to me… and I felt inspired to embellish my skills further. People thought I was inaccessible to them whereas I often struggled with my own lack of skills.

Thank you Jodi, for connecting with people in such an amiable manner.
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Jodi Aman

Thank you so much for your kind comments on the video. We do have so many expectations on ourselves don’t we, and if we don’t measure up then we automatically fail. It is so sad. I try to help people celebrate the little things. This is how I sustain myself and have so much energy. thank you so much for your thoughtful comment. You are so kind and loving, it has been great connecting with you over the blogosphere! xo

Kelly Hashway

People tell me I’m good at making them laugh when they’re feeling down. I guess that’s because I feel like you can either laugh or cry when life doesn’t go your way. It’s more fun to laugh and then figure it out.
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Jodi Aman

You would be the best kind of friend to me!

Mary

Parenting. Everyone has doubts about whether or not they are a good parent. I had (sometimes still have) SEVERE doubts about whether or not I am a good mother. When my girls where younger I started getting calls from their friend’s mothers asking me parenting questions. At first I was very uncomfortable answering anyone, but other parents kept complimenting me about how “wonderful” or “settled” my girls were/are. No one came directly out & said I was a good mother, but I started to feel it when these other parents talked to me. Then I noticed for myself how confident, independent & strong my girls where/are. They are both leaders, excellent students, compassionate & giving. I started to feel more comfortable giving advice. To be honest, most of it was just plain common sense to me & I wondered how other parents didn’t naturally see parenting as I did. Each stage of my girls lives is a new experience & challenge for me. I don’t know what I am doing!!! I go with my gut & what my heart knows is right. I’ve made lots of mistakes, but I force myself to learn from them, so I hopefully don’t make the same mistake again. It’s also important to remember that each child is unique & different. Just because something worked for me, doesn’t mean it will work for another parent & their child. I always remember to say this to people, after giving my opinion on a situation. Now, I feel more comfortable giving advice or parenting tips. I am usually hard on myself, but I can honestly say that I feel that I am a good mother, I learn as I go & I love my children. I love everything about them. I think being given the gift of being a mother is the best thing that ever happened to me.

Mary

Someone must have slipped me a confidence pill yesterday. I can’t believe I wrote that. I did write it, but ever since all I can think about is how insecure I felt when I worked in a preschool (a job I loved). When things went smoothly, I was fine. When there was an issue (inconsolable crying child-crying so hard throwing up as well) I didn’t know what to do. I felt so inferior to other teachers, parents & had a knot in my stomach. There was one child who would crawl under the table & not come out. In a 2 1/2 hr pre-k class, things are very fast paced. You can try to get the child out from under the table once, twice, maybe three times, but that was it. If she didn’t come out, she stayed there & I felt like a failure. I definately could relate to the child under the table & if it was a different situation, I would crawl under the table with her & talk to her. So, I’m not as good as I made myself sound. I still know that I am a good mother, but when thrown into the real world of 3-5 yr olds, I’m not as confident or self assured as others. That voice in my head telling me that I am not good enough, freezes me everytime.

Jodi Aman

You are totally as good as you made yourself sound. This first comment was unfiltered by self doubt. That one is the truth about you! I;m happy you see it. I was going to remind you about Annie’s pretzels!

Jodi Aman

This is so lovely. I knew you knew this! But I do hear you sometimes forget!

Nikky44

Since I read this post this morning, I’ve been thinking to try and find a talent I have that I could mention. I didn’t want to write I had in mind “I don’t think I have any talent”. I didn’t want to sound negative although I honestly didn’t think i had any talent. And then while looking for quotes, about talents, I found this:

“I told her once I wasn’t good at anything. She told me survival is a talent.” ― Susanna Kaysen, Girl, Interrupted

I think “survival” is my talent. I felt as if she was talking to me. In just ONE moment, I remembered how I survived many different things. It feels like I was SO busy practicing my talent of survival, that i ignored all the rest. I gave it all my energy and time.

Nikky44

I found this one now.
“To live, is to suffer. To survive, well, that’s to find meaning in the suffer.”
― D.M.X.

Jodi Aman

Please do something for me. Get a piece of paper and write this all down. Hard copy. I tell you this often but you must think I am joking because here you are again with self doubt wiping away everything good anyone has ever said about you. I have listed your talents dozens of times, but digital disappears too fast. They are gone the next time you feel bad. I want them on your wall today.

You have genius level intelligence
You are a problem solver
You see things from all angles
You anticipate needs
You want to be helpful
You know how to survive
You can survive with little money
You can listen and mother (remember your medicine bag)
Read your poster form the retreat
You can research and find things out
You can get tons done in a short period of time.
You manage pain
You are funny and fun
You are willing to try anything
You are considerate
You feel energy distinctly and allow it to heal you
You are grateful
You are a good listener
You are a hard worker

Hopefully other commentors can add to this!

Kathy @ SMART Living 365.com

Hi Jodi! You did an AWESOME job on this video. Keep it up. Definitely a fun way to connect.

I think one of my talents are is that I LOVE to travel and I LOVE to plan my trips. I’ve often been told that I would make a GREAT travel agent but so far I just enjoy doing it for my husband and I. I’m still toying with the idea of how to make it work along with my writing. Hmmmmm….

Thanks for the thoughts….Kathy

Jodi Aman

Thanks Kathy! I guess planning can come over to many different things. Like organizing, it can apply to many things. Laurazer.com writes about travel, you can check her out! x

lisa thomson

Great video, Jodi! Painting and having creative ideas were two related things that people told me I was good at over the years. I love to draw and paint but was always so self critical. I’m learning to let that go and enjoying the process much more. For some reason color excites me. So messing with paint really makes my heart sing. Thanks for the inspiring post, Jodi.
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Jodi Aman

Thank you! I don’t think I have ever seen your paintings! Color excites me too. Listen, push aside whatever doubt you have to make your heart sing. Alwyas choose your heart singing! <3

Chris

I think in many cases, it isn’t that we can’t FIND our talents, it’s that we don’t believe in ourselves enough to own them. Perhaps we are too busy listening to our inner voices that echo an abuser, or other negative people in our lives. Normally, (or abnormally as the case may be) I start out on a day or a project and by half of the way through, I have convinced myself that I am an unworthy jerk for even attempting positive things. Today, I am going to try something new for me. Today, I am just going to concentrate on my positives and go forward knowing that the earth will not shatter if it isn’t perfect; that I win just by trying and give myself kudos for that.
Thank you Jodi for all that you do, all that you give. Sure do wish I was closer to Ithica, NY so I could attend your Retreat. Sure am grateful that you are here on the internet so that I can learn from you. Gorgeous lady, I LOVED hearing your laugh! You are a gift to me. Perhaps one day when I grow up, I will be too.

Jodi Aman

I am so glad to hear about your commitment for today! Fantastic! Nothing shatters when we make mistakes, that is the biggest crock we tell ourselves. Good for you for saying, “No more!” I wish you were here, too. I am humbled by that fact that some people are driving very far to come. WOW! I am in awe. Soon I will have some digital programs that will hopefully help you from wherever you are! Blossom, Chris, keep commenting so I can get to know you! xo

Laura Zera

Jodi, you did a GREAT job! I know it was two years of practicing, but you really made it look easy, which is a good sign that you’re on the mark.

When I was in my first corporate job, people used to come to me to resolve workplace issues and tensions. Someone told me that I should be in HR, which interpreted to mean that I was a good listener and mediator. I’d never thought that until someone else said it. The next two decades cemented my own belief in that talent, because I started to notice how often people came to me, and I thought, “Hmm, there’s something to that!”
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Jodi Aman

You would laugh so hard at some of my first takes. We have the same sense of humor. I read it in your writing. But anyway, thank you for the compliments! There are so many things you can do with the talent to mediate and to travel. Seriously! Aren’t there international negotiators or something? That would be cool! You have a cool head, you can break up the tension with some silliness and you can put humanity first. You would be great!

kirri white

I have a lot of talents – the challenge is to get laser focused in harnessing them consistently!
I like how you highlighted the fact that so many of us overlook or minimize what we are are good at.

Oh and you are rocking the video format, Jodi!
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Jodi Aman

Make a list and figure out which has the biggest impact on what you want to do! <3 Thanks for your comments on the video. Wow! It was like pressing the first publish button on my blog the first time.

Brenda Moguez

This was me for years.. I wanted to write, but my inner demons stopped me from taking the plunge. When I finally did… and yes I did receive rejection letters and I cried, but I kept pushing forward. Today I am further than I was before, I still receive rejections, but I also get the occasional acceptance. I tell myself I CAN DO IT! Fantastic post, Jodi.
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Jodi Aman

Brenda,
Just another testimony to the fact that even brilliant writers get rejected! You are meant for this. I. CAN’T. WAIT. TO. READ. YOUR. BOOK!
<3

Jude

Yes!! Awesome! Thanks Jodi for talking to me personally. I was blown away!

I will quickly ask my wife and kids what talent they think daddy has.

Tell you something? Many years ago,after college, I was having an ordinary conversation with my dad and he mentioned casually the fact that I could easily meet and warm up to people. I didn’t realize that I was doing that until my dad mentioned it. I applied that attribute to my work and it enhanced my efficiency and management noticed.
Thank you, Jodi.
Best regards
Jude

Jodi Aman

I am so glad it strung a cord for you Jude! I love that you connected with your dad on this one and can practically see what I was speaking about! What a fantastic skill you have! At first you might not see what it might do for you but then, low and behold, it enhanced your efficiency! These little talents, when they are for connecting and contributing to others, always come back to benefit us!

Thanks so much for asking the question and waiting patiently for a response!
Love,
Jodi

Margaret Duarte

You have definitely found your talent here, Jodi. Best wishes for your continued success in not only expressing your talent, but helping others.
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Marie

Eventually, I can read you again Jodi.
We all have talent. I agree with you on this. We tend to think that others are better than us. Sometime it’s even easier to think this, because it means we don’t have to focus on ourselves ( I use this as an excuse).
I remember somebody telling me recently that I had a great smile, that makes people feel good and happy. It’s a talent I cherish now. i share my smile with everybody. A smile can make a big difference!
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Carrie

People have told me, more than once, that I have writing talent. Several years ago my stepdad told me that when I write, the words just flow. (This is NOT the case when I talk, as anyone can tell you. There’s a distinct difference between my writing voice and my speaking voice.)
He also said, “You NEED to be writing”, very matter-of-fact.

I’ve written poetry (got published once) and I’ve tried starting a novel–the book never got off the ground. I took journalism classes in college and did great–even got a few pieces on the front page of the paper. Then I stopped writing about 14 years ago for whatever reason and focused on my life. Now I’m working with a life coach to see if there’s any spark left there. She noticed that when I talk about my writing, I light up. Others have said the same thing. Hmm.

I’m a regular on a couple of message boards, so maybe that has satisfied the need to write so far. But I know I need to do more than that. Over the years, I’ve become very protective of my talents in writing and other creative things. I’m afraid of both rejection and dancing monkey syndrome–“Dance, monkey, dance!!” These fears simply need to be overcome–they’ve held me back my entire life.

Jill Brown

Your video is great! I think it’s wonderful you’re practicing what you advise and putting yourself out there. It makes me feel connected to you more than even writing because I get to see and hear you — great job! I have people tell me all the time, “how do you do this stuff? you just always do stuff you say you’re going to — you make shit happen!” I had never thought of that as a talent but it’s true! When I want something, I find all the ways and possibilities for making it come to life. It’s not that it’s easy — I work hard, but I love what I’m doing. And I realized that’s a talent because it’s inspired friends around me to find ways they CAN instead of making excuses why they can’t. 🙂

Jodi Aman

Great talent! You make stuff happen! I think I have the same talent and it is also because I love what I do. Now I have a kindred spirit!

Jodi Aman

Thanks, Jill! So glad to have you here! This is a fabulous talent! I’m so happy for you! I make things happen, too! We are two peas in a pod!

Rinku Parwinder

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Mihaela

Loved your video.I feel like I can connect with you straight away😊I know a lot about holistic healing.I don’t even know how.I love to read about plants and herbs and cristals and people come to me for advice when they have health issues. I noticed that it easy for me to connect with them and to know where the problem is even before they know.I’ve been told that I’m compasionate and kind.I will love to study homeopathy to help people but I don’t know if I will be a good one?😊

Jodi Aman

You’d be great. There are many other disciplines besides homeopathy for healing. Explore more to see wherr you might fit. If you want help figuring this out, we can make an appointment for career counseling, I can help point you in the right direction especially around a career in alternative healing since I’ve studied it for many years! Thank you for sharing! xoxo


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