Why you take things personally32 comments
“Sometimes when people think they’re putting obstacles in your path, they’re actually laying your stepping-stones. You just got to recognize them as one and the same”
~Daniel Black “Perfect Peace”
Do you take things personally?
Something goes wrong in your life and you immediately think, “What did I do wrong?”
Someone is angry with you and you ask: “How did I make him angry?”
Someone doesn’t text back and you wonder: “Why doesn’t he like me?”
Does this sound like you?
You are not alone! We all do this. It is perfectly human to take things personally. But it doesn’t feel good. No siree, it doesn’t feel good at all!
This is what happens.
We humans, long for order. When something isn’t orderly, we have to figure it out, put it into a little box and make it orderly. Blame is the easiest way to do that.
When you are little and there is chaos around you, you will most likely blame yourself. If this happens, you are even more vulnerable as an adult.
At any age, when something happens that doesn’t make sense, you blame. You can blame yourself or blame another party, but mostly it’s both (which can be even more troubling.) We conclude blame and settle our need to make sense of the world, and actually, it adds to the confusion.
In this video I share with you two ways to get out of the prison of blame.
Here’s your practical guide to stop taking things so personally
1. Taking a step back
2. Say it out loud
I know you can do it! Here’s how:
First of all, be gentle with yourself. Don’t use this info to beat yourself up because you are making yourself unhappy. You are just doing what all of us do. You are no different from everybody else. Love yourself exactly as you are right now. Get why you feel this way and have compassion. Blow a kiss to yourself.
Instead, take this video as relief that you can do something about it! Get away from the chaos of it, by taking a step back and saying it out loud so your rational and relational self can have at it and help you realize all of the other players and their parts in the mix.
Sometimes when we are too close we see things one way, but there might be other ways to see them. Have you made a conclusion about an event, and later realized it was something else?
Tell me about it in the comment section. What did you think originally when you took it personally, and what did you find out that made you feel a whole big bunch better?
Jodi Aman / /