The concept of universal oneness is sometimes hard to wrap your brain around. We grew up with us/them, win/lose mentality. This is called dual thinking and it is the cause of so many of our problems. We feel separate from other people and this has us up to all sorts of antics: getting angry, feeling hurt, seeing injustice, not belonging, hating, fearing, acting mean, but most of all, has us feeling desperately, completely, utterly alone in the world. Even in a crowded room.
But the truth is is that we are so connected, that when we change our thinking, we can affect the thinking of everyone around us. The dual thinking is the illusion. It is like light and dark, darkness is really light. Like cold doesn’t exist, it is just the absence of heat.
What is Universal Oneness?
The Course of Miracles teaches that when you are upset at someone for doing something, there is somewhere inside of you that you are angry at for the same thing. In other words if you forgive yourself that thing, then is ceases to bother you in the other person. Same for the opposite, if someone is upset with you, there is something in yourself you judge the same way. If you forgive yourself, that person will cease to be mad at you. Does this work? Well, it is hard to decipher, some people say it doesn’t work, but we have no way of knowing what they are still holding onto about themselves as some of it can be invisible. (It is usually invisible, which one, makes it hard to let go of and two, gives it more power.)
So, I experienced with this myself. Trying firsts with those closest to me: My children. Last year I would get so angry that they were not helpful in the morning, and dependent on me to get them ready for school. So when I noticed getting angry, I tried to forgive myself for ever not being helpful or aware of the situations around me. When I asked for this awareness, I could clearly see so much guilt from my past of being selfish in certain situations and allowing someone else to cover my slack. I forgave myself for this. I had to do this over and over and the mornings became more peaceful around our house.
How I forgave myself
So, I kept a list for a while of everything that was wrong with the world and forgave myself for these things. It was an amazing eye opening practice. When my clients had a problem, I would forgive myself for that problem, I was innocent in the sexual abuse, I forgive myself for being too fat, I forgive myself for not being good enough in this relationship, for getting fired, for hating myself, for being dumped, for feeling overwhelmed, etc, etc. I stay calm when people are anxious, I see the good in them when they see the bad. It might not heal them immediately, but people do mention feeling different in my presence sometimes. This usually happens when I am aware and in the absolute present moment where healing takes place. Because our minds are connected, they feel the effects of this, too. It is an amazing experience.
Universal Oneness is peace
Aren’t there those people you feel happy around? And then other people you feel bring you down? It is because our minds are connected!
“World peace can be achieved when, in each person the power of love replaces the love of power.” ~Sri Chinmoy.
The same goes for judgment. I talk to people about this all the time. Many people are afraid of what others’ think. But they can only feel judgment coming from another when it triggers a judgment they already have of themselves. So if you let it go, people will no longer be able to harass you about this. This might be hard to swallow. And these self judgments might be deep in and hard to let go of. But the good news is, all you have to do is heal yourself. Since we are connected, when you heal yourself, you heal everyone around you. (Read How do I know I am done healing for more on this.)
If you are worried about someone, heal that fear in yourself, believe in them. It helps them so much more than the worry! Worry brings you both down, trust will heal you both. If you are mad at someone, think about how you are connected, turn win-lose situations into win-win situations! Bring compassion and forgiveness in and feel the freedom from emotional pain that you deserve!
We can heal the world, by just starting within our own hearts. Universal Oneness is the best news ever.
I would love to hear your thoughts! In what ways do you feel connected to people and/or animals around you?
It’s been at least 3 months that I need to ask you this question on Wednesdays, but I just write it and then delete it.
Even though I got some answers, but I still need to know more, to understand better, how i can feel THAT strong connection with someone i never met, before i ever talk to the person. The connection is real, i feel it, and as long as I don’t get answers i can’t stop thinking and trying to reach to some kind of understanding.
About the influence this connection can have on me, it is very easy for me to describe it as i am living it every day.
Two persons can tell me exactly the same thing, same words in the same context, one would lift me up, and the other might bring me down.
The only difference i would mention here, is that I can’t find the bad in any other person. Of course i get mad and angry at others behavior, but I always manage to find an explanation, and reaching the explanation calms my anger, so forgiving is never an issue for me. I never needed to think about forgiving, It comes instantly.
I feel a very very strong connection, so strong that it seems scary.
nikky44 recently posted..The Rainbow
There is so much more than we can see and understand physically. You are feeling one of the mysteries of life. Just understand that you can’t understand it fully, and allow your self to appreciate, notice, without trying to analyze or judge. Pick a meaning and then enjoy! It is only scary because you are used to fear. There is really nothing to be afraid of.
I think i saw now what kind of fear it is. At every episode in my life, i got some kind of help, whether through treatment, friends, or anything, and i started climbing the hill, but each time, when the “help” disappears, i fall back deeper and lower. This time, I’m climbing fast, I sometimes even feel happy and full of hope, but I guess I’m scared to wake up from that beautiful dream that i am living through you and few other friends, because falling this time might take me to a non return point.
nikky44 recently posted..The Rainbow
Falling is the illusion. Know you cannot and you will not. Your determination and tenacity will help you! Your reading will give you sustenance. Love is always there for you, too!
This is interesting. It reminds me of the well known concept of “projection” in a way-putting our feelings onto others. But this coneptualization you write about is more beautiful and human. The idea of looking at ourselves first.
Thanks Paul, for your touching comment. I appreciate that you GOT my drift!
You made me look at oneness in a new light, Jodi. Thank you.
Corinne Rodrigues recently posted..Comparison: The Thief of Joy
Thanks Corinne! I loved your post today and was called away before I could comment!
Thanks Jodi-hopeful post!
Thanks! I’m glad you found hope in it!
This was an excellent reading for me today. I have been a bit of a worrier all my life and I am learning a great deal about ways to free myself of that . The judgement , both of myself and then in turn, my judging of others has resulted in unhealthy ways of thinking and acting in the past.. I love how you relate about healing and believing in the goodness in others . The key for me is first seeing the basic good in myself and acknowledging my own growth . Interestingly like nature, I experience this growth even in the darkness because the light is waiting patiently each day.
I so enjoy your blog. Thanks.
Patricia,
Thanks for your comment! Glad you captured the essence of what I was trying to convey. Much blessings!
I love that you started this with your children. I definitely have realized that the things that bug me the most about my kids are the things that I hate most about myself. It is hard to indulge in self-forgiveness, but definitely worth the effort. Thanks for the interesting food for though today!
kario recently posted..Meditation Revelations
Self forgiveness is so worth the effort! Thanks for commenting!
What a good reminder to start with ourselves when we want to see change in others. It’s so easy to leap to judgment. But if we can take a step back, forgive ourselves for the same behaviors as you suggest here, Jodi, it can make a world of difference.
Nancy recently posted..Take the Leap: Plan Your Escape
Jodi, I always appreciate your insight. I understand and agree with the statement that if you’re mad at someone about something, you’re probably mad at yourself for the same reason. But I don’t get how, if someone is upset with you, then you’re probably upset with yourself for the same reason? Why is this so? I’ve been upset with someone because I did them a big favor but they never really acknowledged it publicly. They didn’t give me credit. But once I realized that maybe I’m not giving myself much credit, then I could let it pass. Gradually, I’ve come to get over it, knowing that getting recognized will never happen. But I’m having trouble understanding the opposite.
Monica recently posted..Where the Rubber Meets the Road
Children not being helpful in the mornings is the least you can say. Every single day, we are having our little war, we get upset and angry, and off we go to our different directions. Left is the sorrow in my heart. When they come home in the afternoon, I thank God for them, and promise myself to have more patience. Your post is giving hope to this. Thanks!
Let me know what happens!
Hi Jodi, I read the above in some ways as a beautiful work out for the empathy muscle and very uplifting to boot.
I have to say that I often have a much easier time forgiving others than myself. (My own perfectionism/narcissm which I handle by giving myself the benefit of the doubt the way I would another person.)
Lisa W. Rosenberg recently posted..Middle School? Already?
I agree with you, Jodi, we have to look inside ourselves first. I feel very connected with a lot of people through blogging. It’s a great form of expressing and exchanging. Albeit not as immediate as in person. And in person should not be neglected, either.