Deeper connection takes effort, but the pay-off is huge, making that effort sustainable! This deeper connection post was meant to help people build more profound relationships. It was originally a four-part reel series that I made for social media. Follow me:
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Keys to Deeper Connection with Your Partner 1-5
1. Say thank you, even for the little things. Completing a task in this crazy world is an accomplishment. Even if you do it every, you deserve to be celebrated, and it will feed you to be appreciated. Even emptying the dishwasher. Say thank you over and over.
2. Do different activities such as dates, cook a new recipe, refinish furniture, read together, watch the sunset, or explore a new town. Novelty ignites dopamine, which helps tighten bonds.
3. Balance the power in the relationship when it comes to thoughtfulness, tasks, money, and emotional support. Power imbalances increase insecurity. So, while there is attachment (sometimes intense attachment), it is not nourishing.
4. Apologize and forgive before you are ready. “You can be right, or you can be in a relationship.” Some things matter, and some things don’t matter; know which is which.
5. Listen longer than you think is necessary. Only give feedback if they ask for feedback. Otherwise, hear them, witness their agency, hold them, and allow them to feel their feelings.
Keys 6-10 to a Closer Connection
6. Let your partner grow. People are not meant to stay stagnant. Growth leads to more conscious joy. When you witness your love growing, be excited for them.
7. “Choose your partner.” When you are faced with a choice, make sure your partner’s needs and/or wishes are at the top of your list of considerations for making that decision.
8. Negotiate perimeters explicitly. Don’t assume you are both on the same page. Communicate what you want to happen in all areas of your life. Then, if opinions differ, you can negotiate instead of being hurt.
9. Dream together. Imagine a few years into your future. What are your hopes and dreams? Which ones match? How can you take action on those?
10. Physical affection. Most humans thrive on touch. It soothes the nervous system and makes you feel loved and cared about.
The next five ways to love and feel loved more deeply are
11. Let go of your ego. Instead of trying to prove what you think is the right way to think or get your partner to understand you, try to be more understanding of them.
12. Practice self-care together and apart. Do things together that support your body, mind, and soul. Also, allow your partner to do some of these alone to get some time alone.
13. Surround yourself with uplifting people to support you. In isolation, partners need too much from each other. Build a community to hold you so you don’t look to each other for EVERYTHING.
14. Cheer them on. When your partner has success or is trying to do something, cheer them on. Get interested in what they are doing and tell them you believe in them.
15. Witness them. Get to know the amazing person that they are inside. Get to know their likes and dislikes so they feel deeply known and seen.
Lastly, read the final five ways to deepen connection with your partner
16. Be silly sometimes. Don’t take your life too seriously. Stop worrying about people judging you. Being goofy will make amazing memories.
17. Collect something. This can be a fun hobby to do together. Find something you both love and look for it. It will give you a low-stakes purpose to enjoy when you need lightness.
18. Help others together. There are people everywhere who can use a hand: your family, neighbors, friends, and local non-profits. Keep looking for opportunities to give back.
19. Respect yourself. Taking care of your hygiene is a gift for your partner.
20. Take care of your bodies. You want to live long together, so eating whole foods, exercising, and meditation is essential.