Parenting teens is not an easy job. It seems like overnight that your talkative tween with energy to spare becomes a recluse who sleeps until noon! Listen, it’s normal for your teenager to pull back from you a bit and begin to strike out on their own, they are learning their independence and place in the world.
THIS IS HARD! For them and for you. As they experience their growing pains, they may think they need to go it alone, but they still need a good deal of guidance. And tag! You are that guide!
You’ll want to keep a good connection going as you transition from controlling their lives and schedules, to just being their moral, logistical and spiritual backup.
You are the most capable, invested, loving, and accessible person to be your teen’s guide. And they STILL need you!
Get your kids to talk and talk
Here are some dos and donts of how to get your teen to talk to you about their lives and what’s on their minds so you can stay close enough to the action to make sure they are on a (relatively) safe path while they are exploring their identity and purpose.
But you don’t want to push, right? The goal here is to get your teen to talk to you about whatever they are willing to share. Watch the video to learn more.
Four Helpful Tips to Get Your Teen to Talk to YouMy 4 Tips to Get Your #Teen to Talk to YouClick To Tweet
Get Your Teen to Talk – My Four Tips!
- Talk Less. Listen more. Listen for a looooong time- longer than you think. Let your teen go on and on and on before you even open your mouth.
- Ask Questions. When you finally do start saying something, ask questions to get your teen to talk even more. Kids often don’t know how to name a feeling. If you come from a place of curiosity, you help your teenager feel safe and not judged AND you help them sort through what they feel to figure it out.
- Don’t Give Advice. Just don’t. Not unless they BEG you for it. Be a sounding board. Your teen wants to rant and vent; they don’t want you to swoop in and save them. Let them talk it out and be amazed as they come up with their own solution (which will most likely be what you would have suggested!).
- Validate Their Feelings. Use phrases like: “I get it” or “I totally understand why you feel that way”. This lifts your kid up. We all want to feel validated and teens are no different. It helps them take a step back from the problem. Also, offer touch. Hugs, cuddles, hand-holding- whatever they will let you do.
Teens are amazing, aren’t they?! What helps you connect with your teenager? Share with me!