If you are human, you care what other people think. You care how other people are judging you. That is because you are only a “self” in relationship. That means your view/understanding of yourself comes from what you see reflected off of people around you.
That’s why, if you are surrounded by negative, mean people, you may not have a good sense of self. You may often be distracted with self-blame, and questioning: Am I enough? Or concluding: Why am I not enough?
(Even if someone was mean to you in the past, that negative judging of self can stay with you long after the other person is gone.)
You are only a self in relationship.
Fear of Judging
When a lot of people are mean to you, it is understandable to conclude that something is wrong with you. You see yourself as the most common denominator. But remember: People aren’t mean to you because they don’t like you, they are mean to you because they don’t like themselves.
Still wondering why then, so many people are mean to you? It is because MANY, MANY people don’t like themselves. People are judging you because they judge themselves ten times more.
AND, when you have a negative view of yourself, then, you are more sensitive and worried about people judging you. This is because you are judging yourself for the same things. If someone judged you for something you were not already sensitive about it wouldn’t even register for you.
Watch this video to see what I mean, and what to do:
Why you are afraid of other people judging you
Please share!
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Self-compassion
You also have a relationship with yourself. When you are kinder to yourself and more compassionate, less judging, your world changes. Your other relationships change. Your mood changes. You become happy and don’t give a darn what the judgemental people think. You don’t take it inside your heart and you actually have compassion for them.
What is your biggest take away from this video?