Mistake #4: Thinking you are unlucky
I had a client who told me that he was the most unlucky person in the world. Wow! Top that for a definitive statement!
But his girlfriend confirmed this for me so it must be true…
Intrigued, I asked for an example. I can only imagine what awful things could have possibly happened to this white, middle class, American male.
(*I’m teasing. I know bad things can, and do, happen to everyone.)
This is the story he told me.
One day my truck caught fire! Just sitting in my driveway.
I reflected back,
That’s horrible, what happened?
A neighbor walked by and came to my door to tell me. Then, we put it out.
This was equally interesting to me. How is it that he defines himself as unlucky with this kind of weak evidence?
What about how lucky it was that his neighbor was walking by at that exact moment to warn him before the fire got out of hand and burned down his house with him and his love in it?
There were more stories like this one, but all typical, yet annoying things that happen to all of us.
Imagine how it affects his whole day believing this idea that he is unlucky?
(Remember in math, “is” equals an “=” sign. He = unlucky. Equals. It is him and he is it.)
I’ll tell you, it doesn’t feel good.
Unlucky is unfair. Also, injustice swipes your worth out from under you.
Lucky and unlucky is a matter of perception.
There is an old Chinese story of an old farmer who owned a bony plow horse. One spring afternoon the horse ran away. The old man’s friends, trying to console him, said, “We’re so sorry about your horse, old man. What a misfortune you’ve had.” But the old farmer said, “Bad news, good news-who knows?”
A few days later the horse returned home leading a herd of wild horses. Again the friends came running. Filled with jubilation, they cried, “How wonderful!” But the old man whispered, “Good news, bad news-who knows?”
Then the next day, when the farmer’s son was trying to ride one of the new horses, the young man was thrown to the ground and broke both legs. The friends gasped. Again, the old man stood still and said, “Bad news, good news-who knows?”
And a short time later when the village went to war and all the young men were drafted to fight, the farmer’s son was excused because of two broken legs.
Good news. Bad news. Who knows?
Watch today’s video where I explain why we feel unlucky and tell you how to throw compassion at yourself. (I am in LOVE with using this trick and I think you will love it, too!)
So what do you think? Ready to throw compassion at yourself? It takes practice but barely any effort. That is what is so great about it. It takes a moment, and then, the benefits can change your whole day!
Let’s try it right now. Find one thing that is bothering you. Just right now, think of what is frustrating your heart? Throw compassion and understanding at why you feel bad/sad/frustrated/hurt).
How does that feel? Please share!
Of course you’ll want to check out the beginning of this series:
1st Mistake: Not setting personal boundaries
2nd Mistake: Thinking that you are different
3rd Mistake: Making blanket statements