Life’s challenges can sneak up on you. Other times they come one after another before you can recover from the last one. It is one of our greatest challenges in life is how to respond in ways that that don’t make it worse.
In this video, I share three key steps you can take after experiencing any difficult situation. Whether it’s a minor or major disturbing event, these steps will help you process what happened, reduce a later traumatic response, and move out of the overwhelming negative emotions that the event might have caused.
This doesn’t mean that you won’t feel. You feel that because you are human. Fortunately, engaging in this three-step process after life’s challenges will minimize the negative meaning-making and panic that worsens and lengthens your recovery.
(It’s important to note that your priority is safety if you’re still in danger. But once the situation has passed, and you’re trying to figure out how to deal with it emotionally and mentally, this guide is for you.)
Watch 3 Steps for Dealing with Life’s Challenges: Deal with Difficulty, Master Life
Here are the three steps to dealing with life’s challenges
Step 1: Have Compassion for Yourself
The first and most important thing to do after a difficult experience is to show yourself compassion. It’s natural to have strong feelings after going through something tough. Unfortunately, in Western culture, we tend to judge ourselves harshly for feeling emotions. We often think we shouldn’t be upset, or that feeling hurt means we’re handling things “wrong.” But the truth is, feeling upset is human.
Having compassion for yourself means acknowledging and validating your emotions. When you feel something—whether it’s sadness, anger, or frustration—tell yourself, “I understand why I feel this way.” This self-validation is key to moving through your emotions instead of getting stuck in them. You don’t need to feel bad about how you’re feeling!
If you’re wondering how to practice self-compassion, it can be as simple as giving yourself permission to feel and acknowledging that your emotions are valid. A gesture I like to use is kissing my hand and touching my heart, as a way to physically show myself compassion whenever I’m overwhelmed.
The more you validate your emotions, the less attached you’ll feel to them. This detachment is essential for processing what happened and avoiding being stalled in your healing journey.
Step 2: Take a Psychic Step Back
Once you’ve shown yourself compassion, the next step is to take a step back from the situation—what I call a “psychic step back.” This means zooming out and looking at the situation from a bigger perspective.
When you’re caught up in the chaos of a difficult event, it’s hard to see things clearly. But when you step back, your nervous system calms down, and you’re able to think more clearly. You’ll gain new insights about the situation, understanding not just yourself, but also the other people involved.
From this broader perspective, things may not feel as personal, and you’ll begin to see why people behaved the way they did. You’ll understand the dynamics at play in a way that wasn’t possible when you were in the thick of it.
Taking a step back also provides clarity about your emotions and actions. It allows you to be more objective, helping you process the event and prepare for the next step.
Step 3: Decide What to Do
Once you’ve shown yourself compassion and taken a step back to see the bigger picture, it’s time for step three: deciding what to do. With the new understanding you’ve gained, you can make decisions for your highest good, as well as the highest good of others involved.
Rushing into action out of a knee-jerk reaction can cause more problems, so it’s important to take your time. Reflect on what you’ve learned, consult trusted people for advice, and carefully consider your next steps. Your decision-making process should involve thinking about what will bring you peace and clarity moving forward.
It’s about figuring out what actions you need to take immediately, what you should do next, and how to move forward in a way that serves your well-being.
Final thoughts on dealing with life’s challenges
So, to recap, here are the three steps to take after any difficult situation:
- Have compassion for yourself – Validate your emotions and understand that it’s okay to feel what you feel.
- Take a step back – Gain a broader perspective to understand what really happened.
- Decide what to do – Make thoughtful decisions based on what’s best for you and everyone involved.
These steps are incredibly effective in helping you process difficult experiences and avoid getting stuck in negative emotions. Take your time with each one, and don’t hesitate to reach out to trusted people for support.
If you found this post helpful, feel free to share it with friends who might need to remember they are more than they think they are.
Did you know I have a weekly live-streamed talk show every Monday at 8 PM on YouTube? Get on the list to get reminders about the show, including the topic for the week, PLUS get my Gen Z Mental Health Resource Guide here:
