When you see these red flags in your relationships, they might be deal-breakers. When you’re in an unhealthy relationship with a selfish or narcissistic person, it can be damaging and take a long time to recover. Of course its best not to get into them, but if you do-get out as fast as you can. The sooner that you get out, the shorter the recovery time!
This is the thing: Life is too short to spend it with someone who tears you down. You ought to surround yourself with people who lift you up. Keep reading and watch my video!
Teen Mini-Course on Healthy Relationships
What is a red flag?
A red flag is a sign that you should keep your eyes open and make sure something is not symptomatic of a bigger problem. Some of these can be explained as temporary distraction or that one may be momentarily self-absorbed. However, often times they signify that the person is self-centered and doesn’t think about you too much. –Dealing with Difficult People Blog Post
Once you are attached to someone, you might be too close to the relationship to see it. A good rule is to always share with people what is happening, so they can be your eyes and ears. If you are uncomfortable sharing or your partner has isolated you, this itself is a red flag. Here is a good survey to see if your relationship is what you want it to be.
What is a narcissist?
Narcissists are people who are so absorbed with themselves, and what they need, that they don’t think about anyone else. There is no room for you in the relationship since it is all about them. Worse, your plight is invisible to them. Ironically, they often feel like they are a victim of the world, all the while using power tactics to get control over everything around them. It may seem like they have overconfidence and a sense of greatness, but in reality, it is an underlying lack of self-worth and anxiety that causes narcissism.
You’ll want to learn how to set firm limits with people like this to save yourself a lot of hurt.
Here are 6 Red Flags that you should be on the lookout for!
~In my Teen Healthy Relationship Course, I teach 18! Keep your eyes open for these and if you are not sure, ask someone.
Remember! You have control over this. When you don’t feel good about yourself, you are probably not treating yourself very well. Then, you might let people in that also don’t treat you very well. If you are strong in your self-worth, you won’t let these people in.
6 Red Flags to Keep in the Front of Your Mind
- Your partner doesn’t respect your boundaries. If you set them, they criticize you and gaslight you . If they haven’t respected your boundaries yet, odds are they will continue to bulldoze them.
- If you try to stand up a little bit, they gaslight you, essentially making you second guess yourself and feel like you were in the wrong, not them.
- Name-calling. This is immature and not an excuse. Don’t put up with this.
- Everything is always about them. (No room for your needs, your friends, your interests, or….YOU)
- You catch them lying more than once. If someone is lying, they often keep lying.
- They make fun of you in public. This is never okay.
Here are some other articles about relationship red flags:
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/in-flux/201407/10-relationship-red-flags
https://www.self.com/story/relationship-red-flags-never-ignore
https://www.mydomaine.com/red-flags-in-a-relationship
https://medium.com/on-the-couch/the-biggest-surprising-red-flag-in-a-new-relationship-a416227eaaef