On top of how much we judge ourselves, we also have a significant amount of worry about what this all means, how long is it going to last, how it will affect my life, and what will others think, etc. I invite you to consider the diagram in the previous blog entry.
When worry is present –and though it takes many different forms, it hardly ever absent—I try to make this visible, too. Once I have all the worries clearly named, I ask them to add them to the diagram to let me know their size in relation how many units of distress it is. You can see the result.
I go over this in detail in my book You 1, Anxiety 0.
Worries can get very big for some people. Sometimes even taking on a bit of a life of their own. If we took away the worries and the judgments, there would be so much less distress. It reminds me of Buddha when he says that the ‘suffering’ is not the pain, it is the angst and the fear, (AKA judgments and worries.) You may be wondering how, in this culture of self judgment and worry, do we take those out of the equation. I may leave this for another blog entry, but I will say making this all visible will surely have some effect on the distress.
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