Big Mistake #2: Thinking you are different
Do you think that you are different?
Yeah, me too.
Of course you are uniquely you in an awesome way. There is no one exactly like you in the world. You are special, and it is amazing that you are living this exact life this exact way right now in time. Amazing.
But sometimes feeling different doesn’t feel so good. “Different” can mean discluded.
You’d rather belong.
That is why Thinking that you are different the #2 most common mistake that keeps you suffering. (Check out the first video in this five part series: Setting Awesome Personal Boundaries)
For the people I talk to, this belief causes a great deal of suffering. It makes us compare ourselves. We think everybody is doing better than us.
This makes us focus on our deficits, and what we can’t do, and can zap away any of our energy to feel better.
You can argue that things are hard for you, or that you “can’t”, but then you’re giving power to those limits. On top of that a feeling of not being understood infiltrates your life. If you are different, then nobody understands. And this adds to the loneliness and isolation, causing more, and even more, suffering.
First of all: Have compassion for yourself!
Understand why you feel the way you do. It is only when you are not judging it, that you can do something different. (See the Map To Whole Peace free video series for how to do this!)
From 20 years as a secret keeper, I have heard confessions about what everybody is hiding. So, I have the inside scoop: You are NOT different.
We are all walking around with the same fears and insecurities as you. Some of us give it more attention than others. Some of us actively counter it. This is the difference and you have the power.
Watch my video, and I will explain.
You are not different. You belong.
Look for things that make you happy and do them.
Would you feel better if you realized you are not different than everybody?
Would your life be brighter If you belonged like everyone else? If people understood?
Everybody belongs. ~Richard Rohr
Challenge for today: What is one thing you DO, or CAN do, everyday to generate happiness in your life? Tell me in the comment section.
What am I going to commit to? I am going to watch one inspiring video a day. And I am going to work on daily practices to keep anxiety out of my life.
Hi Jodi, you have hit on the turning point of my “new success” in everything. “Focusing on my Happiness” If that is in the #1 Priority Position, the rest falls into place. I say this with confidence not because of some material success I’m about to link this comment to. My confidence comes from feeling no resistance in my work, opportunity & ideas abundantly flowing my way. All when I develop my day around my spiritual routine.
For so long I was trying to develop my spiritual routine around what I thought was “supposedly” my Day! Now I simply focus on things that make me happy & at peace with my inner self. I started with meditation. I always feel good when I meditate. So it is required to start a Successful Day! Another, Not Turning on TV or computer until I feel physically & spiritually centered each morning.
This is working, you are spot on when you say not one of us is any different than the next. Anyone succeeding in life or experiencing abundance of any kind, is somehow finding their “Happy Spots” FIRST. Whether by design or Mistake they are finding them. Great Video and Topic! Like always, You Rock!
It’s been amazing witnessing you doing this. First things first. Stop asking God to get involved in what you are doing. Get involved in what God is doing. This is the way to peace and you see that coming true for you. Keep following your heart and spirit first each day!
Thank you So much Jodi, It warms my heart and means a lot hearing you say that. Thank You for your amazing & special roll in my recovery, healing, and now thriving. Couldn’t have found this happy consciousness without your support! Like always, You Rock!
I am committing to play my ukulele everyday and put my all into it-emotions and technique!
That’s a great one! music and outdoors are good happy activities.
Yes! unplug… and connect with the earth and all the beauty that’s surrounds us =) it seems that after any amount of time that I spend in nature, hands in the dirt or simply plopping myself in the middle of a field… I find it’s a little easier to tackle the obstacles that once seemed sooo big, but in comparison to us, the earth, and the heavens above? WOW how can all that wonderment not start to bring about sparks of awe and happiness…. to be a part of something so big and know that we weee little beings can make such a huge ripple and big difference with everything that we involve ourselves in (if even briefly) what a difference a smile makes and how healing is a hug.
I can totally picture you doing that!
Mary, You and Annie are soul sisters. You would get along perfectly! I wish you could meet! <3
You are always committed to creative self care. i admire your commitment to yourself and it shines out from within you!
I have been working to cultivate a habit of instantly spinning bad news into good and seeing the positive.
For instance yesterday at the casino thee was a grab bag drawing and I won the lowest level prize. The girl administering the give away apologized for me ‘only’ winning five bucks. I was not sorry at all. I spun it to- “That is five more than I came with!”
Or I was on the phone to buy tickets to take my girl to a Cirque Du Soleil show here in Las Vegas and she over heard me and slipped me a note saying she was already planning to go with some out of town coworkers to the exact show I was about to buy tix for. So I spin it to- At least I did not complete the transaction ’cause that would be a hassle to off load or try to return the tickets.
That is what I do to generate happiness
It’s easy to see things from a different way once we put our mind’s to it! Thanks for contributing to the conversation!
I know that people are not different and everyone suffers one way or the other, but we are different in the way we handle our problems. We are also different in our priorities . What disappoints me might be irrelevant for someone else, and what I find funny might be very painful for another. I think that is what makes us feel different. The frustration is when we suffer because of a situation that wouldn’t affect another person.
I do everyday something that makes me happy. I play with my cat. there are a lot of other things that make me happy, but they all involve others since “connection” is the main or only thing that makes me feel good. And it is not always easy to connect with others
Lucky silly kitty!
because I play with her or because I love her that much??? Both cases you’re right. I love her because she understands me, helps me and loves me however I’m feeling.
there are so many things that I wish I had time to do…. things that used to bring satisfaction and happiness~ but. in a pinch. I get away from the noise. surround myself with my furry &feathered farm friends~turn up the music and DANCE DANCE DANCE =)
That sounds like so much fun!
Here’s my practice: Each day, I take 1 minute, 5 times during the day. During that minute I really focus in on 5 things that are enough, that are OK in my life. I have enough to eat. I have a friend. I have a husband I love. I have a roof over my head. I have a family who loves me. I have meaningful work to do. Whatever is in front of me at those moments, I take a full minute to really feel how good they are and how OK my life is.
This is beautiful and something we can all do! Thanks for sharing!
oh my gosh yes! that’s beautiful!!! we all have variations of your beautiful list and we should think about those things everyday. my cup is half full and never empty =)
It has taken me a LONG time to realize that being “Different” is okay, interesting, lovely, makes me into who I am. I have given up relationships because people have not accepted me for “ME.”
This is one of the reasons I miss KAY so much. She loved me for everything I was!
Luv you, dear Jodi. xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
My Inner Chick recently posted..The Light Shines In Darkness
I do too, for everything that you are
You are so good at standing out against the grain and LOVING up what you love. I think you have a huge following because of that openness. You’ll attract more to you. And the ones that go away- or that you send away-are meant to go. Its a hard lesson, but as we get older, it gets so much easier to let them go!
I try to think about what I’m grateful for in my life and that helps to let go of the negative thoughts. I don’t belong sometimes and that’s okay. It’s really okay, I’ve finally learned that it’s up to me to find where I do belong and embrace that. Lovely post, Jodi! <3
lisa thomson-The Great Escape… recently posted..Mr. Nasty the Cold Virus
Oh I wish everyone could see this and practice it! Wow, life would be so much easier! Kudos to you for generating your happiness. You hold the key simply because you know you hold it!
One thing I can do is to focus on the simple pleasures in life: a hot cup of tea, a sunny day, a beautiful flower. I think if you can appreciate the little things, then when a big thing comes along its even better.
Wishing you a wonderful weekend!
Totally Caroline recently posted..WWDD (What Would Dita Do?)
I think the things that bring me the most joy are the things that I do with Presence, whether they’re big or small. Some days it’s doing yoga. Often times it’s an interaction with another person. Thanks for bringing me to this awareness Jodi.
Bani Aello recently posted..Good bye Worry. Hello Peace!
1. Happiness is not “generated” it is achieved.
2. What does it mean to “belong”? That seems to apply to school children more than to adulthood.
3. I would not want to be NO different the the average guy. Being different is not by itself an obstacle to success or happiness.
You are taking it out of context. Watch the video and you will get it.
I watched the video two more times What is it that I am taking out of context? A person that thinks that everyone else is doing fine is delusional. All humans face challenges, some greater than others.
As a daily practice to feel my best, I can hold one or both of my cats (who are both seniors) and relish their warm fur, beautiful faces and eyes and be thankful they are still in my life. Their purring is calming and when they tap me on the forearm or reach out for my face, they are coming as close as they can to a human touch.
Beautiful!