A Valentine’s Story: Your Kindness Healed Me

“Love Heals, Kindness Heals”  was first published on my Anxiety-Schmanxiety Blog. It has received over 36,000 hits. I am glad romance still holds as much value to all of you that it does to me. Share if this makes you feel good! 

“His Kindness Healed Me”

As often happens, I was brought to tears last night during a therapy session.

“When he asked me why I like him, I didn’t know how to put it into words.  All I could say was, ‘Your kindness healed me.'”

She began to judge that she couldn’t express her feelings. Her fear and self-doubt arose and she began to beat herself up at her lack of a good reply.

But I thought this was the sweetest compliment that I ever heard.

This couple, that I have been rooting for for a year (two kind, beautiful people with huge hearts, but who also suffer from desperately low self esteem due to past trauma) finally, finally let each other know they liked each other! The kind of love that sits quietly but continues from afar through all of those months is something special indeed, especially with self-doubt against them.

They have a soul connection if I ever saw one.

Feeling Unworthy of Being Loved

For months, she told me that she could never do it.  She told me that when she thought of telling him how she felt, she was overwhelmed by anxiety.

I knew he liked her, but not because I knew him and met him. I knew from the kindness she described. And I trusted her instincts better than she did.  Why wouldn’t I?  I have sat listening to her for almost two years as she recovered from a horrible abusive relationship and found her way as a single parent. And I have seen her be correct every time she assessed a situation.  She is always spot on. I had the distance to trust her that she didn’t have. Her anxiety got in the way.

Despite all of her negative self talk, there was some level that she knew he liked her.  But her second guessing was high and tormenting.  I knew this kind of conversation with him would wipe it away and I had been encouraging her for months.

Even through her insecurities, his kindness over the year gave her solace. It make her feel special and worthy. She healed.

“I don’t think I will ever tell him. It is just not me.” She once told me long ago. (Cue Brady Bunch trambone.) This is a limiting belief if I ever heard one. It’s amazing how our beliefs run our lives.

But beliefs can change and this is what heals us.  She finally did talk to him and it made a huge difference.  She had the biggest smile on her face and some of her fears seemed to drain away.

Believing that someone could love us, that we are worthy of love, can change everything.

Kindness (Love) Heals Us on All Levels

Kindness and love heals us physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually. Read 5, 4, 1 Ways To Heal.

Epilogue:

This couple got engaged and married this fall. they are still the cutest couple you ever did see! 

Tell someone how you feel. Don’t wait a year. Or even a day.

How would you feel if someone said your kindness healed them? Have you ever felt kindness healing you?