Help your daughter by helping yourself
Talk about cutting right to the core of my own experiences! This video is something I feel so strong about since it is personal for me on many levels. I grew up watching the women in my life struggle with their bodies and so, I myself, picked up the baton when I was in high school and followed suit into my early adulthood.
I changed my clothes a million times before going out hoping to find some outfit that I felt comfortable in. Yes, that was me. I tested all of the fad diets, became an aerobics instructor, a personal trainer, stopped eating sugar, and sometimes stayed home because I didn’t like how I looked.
When I began working with people with eating disorders and body image issues, and then, had a daughter myself, I knew they’d all see through my crap!
If I didn’t love myself like I was asking them to love themselves, they couldn’t either. I’m not a, “Do as I say, not as I do!” type of teacher.
Do as you do
This story of Gandhi helped me to commit to “being the change” before I expected any change.
Once a mother came to Gandhi and asked him to tell her son not to eat anymore candy. Gandhi looked at the little boy, smiled, and told the woman to come back in a year.
A year later the mom and the slightly bigger boy came back to Gandhi. Gandhi looked at the boy and smiled, and told the little boy to stop eating candy. The mom was puzzled and asked him why they had to wait a year.
Gandhi answered, “I had to give up candy myself before I could tell him to.”
The best way to help others is to heal yourself. Though I am a work-in-progress, as long as I am committed to growing and cultivating that self-love everyday, I can support and share what has been helpful with my daughter, my clients, and you all.
Since the consequences of your kids having a negative body image is so dire, for today’s episode, I thought I’d share ways to plant the seed of self-love early. And, let you know how to nourish it and help it grow.
Raising Your Daughter’s Self-Esteem
Mothers and Daughters
Do you want to raise your daughter to have a good body image? We all know what it’s like growing up in this culture that privileges thin, beautiful, and fit bodies. We see our young daughters growing up and they’re just carefree and don’t think about it yet. They then get to a certain age when they start to be influenced by their culture.
Here are four things that you can do to help your daughter have a good body image:
One, you should lead by example. You have to pull yourself together and love your own self and body so that your daughter can learn from you. The second is to enjoy active movements together, such as dancing, taking walks or playing active games. We want your daughter to have a relationship with her body that’s full of trust and strength.
Third, compliment all of her so that she’ll get to know herself and know that beauty is not the only way to be. And fourth, discuss the beauty discourses in our culture with her and let her understand that this is not necessarily what you or she has to value. Try these things so you and she could let what you want to be shine through.
Here’s a post on Self Esteem theory from Positive Psychology: 7 Effective Self-Esteem Tools
How do you help develop good self-esteem in your daughters?
Hello Jodi,
Though I have not married till now, but if I have a daughter in future I would like to raise her exactly in the manner you explained here.
Gandhi was intelligent enough to understand that we need to be the example first before asking others to change.
Thank so much! You will be a fantastic parent!