You are. You are stronger than you think you are.
Sometimes we don’t even know what we can handle until we are there working through it.
And we surprise ourselves. We are really amazing when we allow ourselves to be.
When it comes down to survival, it becomes too important to let things like low self-esteem and self-doubt hold us back.
Without doubt and anxiety, we allow our awesomeness to shine.
Did you know you are stronger than you think you are?
Did you know you have skills that you may not even notice?
You must have them, because you have made it this far and that is no small feat. It is amazing. Being where you are today is amazing. You’ve been hurt, left out, you’ve lost people, you been disappointed, scared, rejected at the very least. We all have. And you are still kicking.
Nothing short of amazing.
You’ve used mad skills to get where you are today. This means you CAN trust yourself.
You can do it.
What is that something that has helped you?
We all have that something that got us through a hard time. In this video, James tells us what his something is.
He is somebody awesome.
I interviewed James on the Chamber Boys Radio show at the University of Rochester.
(You can see that the boys are in a room adjacent watching us through glass. James obviously agreed have a therapy session on the radio, and also gave the boys permission to interupt us at their will.)
It was great talking to James and but like so many of us, he thought that he was the problem.
“I have no idea what is going on in my own head, I can’t seem to be comfortable in my own skin, cause I am so used to masking who I am with a substance.”
In the conversation, we took the focus off these failures and put it on some important skills.
These are some questions I asked James…
Why did you decide to get help this time?
What did you pray for?
Where did the strength come from?
Why don’t you want to die?
This took him into a conversation he had never experienced before with a counselor and he liked it. It was a conversation that kept him in the present, instead of the past. I helped him begin to define himself by his skills and abilities, rather than by what happened to him.
Wanna watch it?
*Sexual explicit warning* The boys attempt to get raunchy, but we get back on track quickly.
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15 minutes at a time
We get so overwhelmed at thinking we have to succeed in our life, and handle it all. And make it, and do it well, and fix everything, and be the best at everything. And be cool and pretty and young, and never, ever make a mistake. Ever.
Of course, we fail before we start.
Forget all that high expectation self-torture. It will always trap you.
All we really have to do is get through the next 15 minutes. Just one 15 minutes at a time. That’s all. Just one foot in front of the other. You can do that.
Just breathe. Just eat one bite and know it nourishes your body. Make a phone call. Just get out of bed. Just write that one email. Wash your dishes. Put a load in. Do one thing.
Then, celebrate each of those things.
Thinking of your obsessions only 23 hours a day instead of 24? That. Is. Amazing.
Your doubt tells you that it is not important but it totally is. Doubt tells you you are weak. Doubt says, The 23 hours is an abomination.
But what if you focused on the fact that it was an improvement? Wouldn’t that give you energy to keep going rather than be defeated just out of the gate? What if James, instead of beating himself up that he had obessions, set his goal at only allowing them 22 and a half hours? And celebrated that success by feeling good about himself.
1. Ease up on the negative premature conclusions you make about yourself.
2. Remember it is hardly over. This is just the juicy middle.
3. Celebrate the little things. This infuses you with energy.
4. When doubt tries to get the upper hand, distract yourself.
5. Notice and appreciate the good things.
Over to you readers…What if you celebrated that you were stronger than you think you are?