Feeling out of control is a mark of anxiety. We think that control is the only way we can guarantee safety. However, we are constantly bombarded with things that make us feel out of control.
Your kids are away from you.
You don’t know what that pain is.
Someone is mean to you.
You can understand that new software at work.
You forgot an appointment.
Nothing can prevent the hurricane from coming.
You feel helpless, and vulnerable when you think about those things. They are out of your control.
But here is the thing: How can you keep from thinking about them? They are everywhere!
I get how it is. I know all of those negative voices of doubt, fear and self-loathing are so loud and chaotic. They WANT you to feel out of control and so they are like neon signs blinking for your attention. “Watch out!” “It’s going to be awful!” “You can’t handle it!”
If you want to know how to feel more in control when you are so exhausted from feeling out of control all the time, I have the answer for you right here in this video.
How to Get IN Control When You Feel Out of Control
Anxiety is full of crap. It attaches to random things to make you feel out of control. It lies. (See my book You 1, Anxiety 0 which outlines the 15 lies that anxiety tells.)
This is how you know. You get scared of one possibility and are not afraid of another *equally possible and harmful* possibility.
Anxiety uses whatever it can to throw you off balance. It needs your attention to do that. So you have to take your attention away to something else.
There are tons of things in your life that you can control. Actually you control the most important things to your mental well-being and happiness: your personal agency. It is about practicing taking your attention from anxiety’s lies to your purposeful actions.
Anxiety doesn’t care about you. It will apparently stop at nothing to keep you in its grasp — except that it will. It will stop at your self-confidence, it will stop at you knowing that you can handle anxiety and it will stop at you trusting yourself. You have much more control than you think when anxiety is present. It’s time to uncover and breathe life into your skills.
If you believe that you will be okay eventually – this means you trust that you WILL figure this out – you will. Get help here.