The other day I saw a church sign that said “Trust God, But Lock Your Car” and I thought it was perfect for those of us who have trust issues! And really, who doesn’t have trust issues? We’ve all been hurt and then subsequently found it hard to trust. We all read the terrible stuff that is happening in the world, and worry if we are next.
We’ve got trust issues!
How can you NOT have trust issues? Read the news for one day, and you are afraid of leaving the house! It feels as though nobody and nothing is trustworthy.
Without trust, though, fear and anxiety take over. (Trust is the opposite of anxiety.) Fear is the biggest problem here on this earth. It keeps us from doing and trying so many things because we’re too afraid. It holds us back. It makes us suffer way more than we ought to! Then, anxiety just causes us to mistrust MORE! So much so that our trust issues make it near impossible to let our guard down–at all.
If you have trust issues, guess what? That actually means that you value trust. It is very important to you. (Very, very important!) You want to know where you stand. You want to feel safe and know that things won’t get out of control. You want to KNOW how people think and act so you can prevent something bad. Yep. I get it. This is what everyone wants.
Fear is a prison
…that keeps us from happiness. You may think you need fear to protect you from everything. But fear rarely actually protects us. Common sense, problem solving, confidence, planning, observing and decision making are what protects us. Not fear.
This is what I speak about in this Facebook LIVE video. (Get notifications to see when I am live next: Facebook.) Because we want to use these protection skills instead of letting fear keep us from happiness, we have to separate these skills from fear. When you trust and feel free, this doesn’t mean you leave yourself vulnerable. The answer is just like the church sign said, learn to “trust God, but lock your car.”
Here is how to embrace your trust issues, and learn that you have the power to trust the one person that matters. YOU.
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Remember: Trust Issues are good!
Keep them and love yourself for valuing trust. It helps when you know that other peoples actions are not about you.
When people are mean, it’s not because they don’t like you. It’s because they don’t like themselves. (It’s true! And you may say: “But everyone is mean to me”, to which I would say: “A lot of people don’t like themselves!” People are limited. When they are miserable, that misery will bubble over when they reach their limit.)
So even though you can’t trust everybody. It doesn’t matter. You can trust yourself to handle uncomfortable situations, and get yourself out of them. You don’t have to be afraid that you are vulnerable or judge yourself for “locking your car.”
How to Trust When You Have Trust Issues
- Trust God, Trust Yourself. Looking at the situation from afar, most of the time you can see that you’re gonna be OK. You don’t always have to ‘figure it out’. More often than not, you can handle what comes…one thing at a time.
- Lock Your Car. When you learn to Trust Yourself, you’ll see that you can decipher when and how to set clear boundaries with others. This may mean blocking someone out of your life completely. It may mean not taking what doesn’t serve you into your heart. It may also mean giving someone a chance. The latter may result in you getting hurt, but again, trust yourself to be able to handle it.
Check out my video Biology of Fear that has information proven to take away over 50% of the stress, anxiety and panic in my clients.
How do you handle your trust issues? Share with me!