My Secrets to Feeling In Control

Feeling in control is one of our main desires because the sense of being out of control feels dangerous: If we are not in control, something bad can happen and then, we are helpless to do anything. This idea can paralyze the strongest person.

While we crave control because it makes us feel safe, unfortunately, trying to control everything ends up making us feel out of control, since… We. Can’t. Control. Everything.

feeling in control

Then, we panic, and hold more firmly to being in control to try to counter the feeling, spiraling helpless and anxiety further and further.

Remember: Anxiety LIES to you.

Feel out of control may feel dangerous, but it is hardly ever actually dangerous.

Things happen in life. And most of them are handleable and not even scary. Some are completely benign. Others are horrible but are rare possibilities. Being stuck because you are feeling out of control while you are trying to control everything due to some remote possibility of something bad happening, is not only wasting your life, it’s pure suffering.

People who try to control will always feel more out of control. Stop. Then answer is not to surrender control. (That idea makes people feel worse, not better.) The answer is to refocus your attention. Let me explain.

That is because anxiety picks out the one or two ideas of how you are losing control and tries to get all of your attention on them. Meanwhile, there are so many other scenarios that are far more likely to happen that you can absolutely have control over.

Today I want to offer you my secrets to feeling in control. Implementing these strategies into your life will take mere minutes a day, but will save you HOURS of stress and worry. Watch this video:

My Secrets to Feeling in Control

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Let’s Get You Feeling in Control

  1. I make lists. Writing things down helps us be accountable to ourselves. And crossing things off is so rewarding and aids us in feeling in control of our lives. We realize how skilled we really are.
  2. I meditate. This is a big one. Focusing your attention on one thing starves out anxiety and makes room for peace and calm. Even something as simple as coloring can be an act of meditation.
  3. I am always learning. A commitment to learning new things helps us in feeling in control. It reminds us that we can take on new skills and effect change in our lives.

These are my tips to feeling in control when the world feels out of control- simple little things I add to my day to keep anxiety at bay.

What would you add to my list? Share with me!

3 thoughts on “My Secrets to Feeling In Control”

  1. How to deal with the fear of losing the man you are going out with? Just met him 2 months ago but I feel I just want him to call me all the time. Is this normalL

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