Five Things People with Anxiety Want You to Know

People with anxiety have a lot on their plates. Explaining what they feel and need is added pressure, especially if your worry makes you hyper and eager to fix it. That could be overwhelming. To help, I recorded this video of the five things people with anxiety want you to already know so that you are poised to be what they most need when they are struggling.

The first thing to do is to try to put yourself in their shoes. Think about if you were struggling and scared; what would you like to hear? One of the most important things you can say to someone who is struggling with anxiety is, “We are not going to leave you here. We are smart and resourceful, so we can figure this out together.”

Five Things People With Anxiety Want You to Know

If you are wondering exactly how to proceed and be the most helpful you can be, watch this video and read below as I explain what people with anxiety would love to know!

People with anxiety would like you to know:

. How hard they are trying

If someone with anxiety is fighting with you, know that it is the Anxiety fighting, not them. They are also fighting the anxiety, and it is hard work on top of every other thing they are doing that day. It takes a lot of effort to get through a day with any anxiety symptoms.

Many people want them to get over it already, and so people with anxiety often feel invalidated for their hard work. It is so nice when someone notices that they are trying to feel better, keep up with life, and connect with people. Validating the skills they are using will help them be more accessible and give them the energy to use them more.

2. People with anxiety want you to know what helps them

They want you to know what helps them when they are feeling bad and what is helpful when they are feeling good. Perhaps they want someone to listen without judgment, tell them they are normal, or distract them from their negative thoughts. Ask them what best helps. If they don’t know, ask them if they want to have a co-brainstorming session with you to think of a box of tools to use when they feel anxious or panicked.

Also, at times when the anxiety is low, they want you to know that there are things that they have been missing since the anxiety is messing with their life. Ask them what they want to do with you when they are having a good day to make it a great day.

People with anxiety feel isolated. Anxiety and isolation make them feel like they are the only ones who feel as bad as they do. They tend to pull away from people they love because they feel vulnerable and distracted. Anxiety wants them to be alone because it has more control over them from here, so being alone is the worst thing for them and you. Be patient, kind, and understanding, and keep checking on them.

3. That distraction helps.

Taking the mind space away from the anxiety and engaging it in something fun is one of the best ways you can support someone with anxiety. Anxiety is good at capturing one’s attention; they have to capture it back, and it helps when they have a buddy.

4. What triggers them

If you know what triggers them, you can help them make a plan if that situation arises. For example, if seeing an ex is an anxiety trigger, having an exit plan on standby when you go to a social occasion if they show up is helpful.

Some triggers can be avoided, and some can be untriggered. All of this is easier if you are not alone. People don’t heal in isolation; they heal in relationships.

5. People with anxiety want you to know that anxiety is temporary

Even if they don’t believe it themselves, they want you to remind them that they will not stay like this. Anxiety is not a life sentence, and people can stop having it. Again, tell them that they are not crazy and that this is a regular human reaction to our world. They can get better, and you will stick with them and help them through it.

They want you to know that they appreciate all you do for them. Thank you for sticking with them. They may not always show it, but they need and appreciate you. I know it can be frustrating at times to fight anxiety. Anxiety is a stubborn bully, but if you stay on the same side against the anxiety, it helps.

If you have anxiety, what do you especially want others to know?

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