“Don’t should on yourself!” Albert Ellis There are not many words as definitive as “should.” There is no wiggle room in “should.” It is simply something we think we (or someone else) ought to do without flexibility. “You should” or “I should” traps us like nothing else can, because, “If you don’t _____(name a should), […]
There is a way of finding peace by going without. It is the same as finding peace by giving. My favorite definition of grace is ‘giving someone what they need before they even know that they needed it.’ It is the greatest gift you can give someone. This week I have been presenting ways if
Finding Peace By Going Within, Out or Without (Part 3) Read More »
Monday I shared finding peace by going within ourselves, (Part 1) our bodies, our minds. Today we’ll walkabout how to find peace by going outside of yourself. Tomorrow is Part 3 Finding Peace by going without. I wrote this series because people are so filled with anxiety in our culture. This anxiety is causing many problems
How to Find Peace By Going Outside of Yourself (Part 2 of 3) Read More »
Finding peace within…There are as many paths to finding peace as there are ideas in our head. Geneen Roth, the bestselling author of Woman Food and God, says that we can take anything, and take that thing all the way to the end, we will find Spirit. When she says anything, she means anything. Divorce,
Often people come to me when they are distressed over conflict in a relationship. Through our conversation, it is not unusual to find out that they have a lot of fear. This fear stands in their way of forgiving their partner, opening up and trusting and, as such, usually increases conflict. Then, they beat themselves
I often employ a co-therapist during my sessions. There are many co-therapists that I work with, but none that are more available, none that I more frequently turn to than the one who ‘has all the answers.’ Yes, it is Google. I love Google. It staves off my faux pas, quenches my thirst for information,
On top of how much we judge ourselves, we also have a significant amount of worry about what this all means, how long is it going to last, how it will affect my life, and what will others think, etc. I invite you to consider the diagram in the previous blog entry. Worry Globs When
Goodbye Self Hate, Don’t Come Back! Below I give you an example of a powerful resistance letter. I received the idea from other therapists (namely, David Epston) and have been using it in my practice for some time. In the letter, the people are invited to first tell about the problem’s influence on their lives
How to write a resistance letter; When Self Hate invades our lives. Read More »